It’s official we started back at therapies…after a year break…under protest but just the same we’re back. Yesterday we had our first visit, Physical Therapy, as we’re in the waiting room my son’s cracking up a at door that opens shuts constantly (first thing in the morning so busy time). He proceeds to then find the need to dirty his diaper, and it’s time for therapy to start. I go back with him or they’d never get anything done with him. I was excited because the room no longer had the gym mat laying on the floor but an adjustable table. Very cool addition! So, I lay out the blanket and get my supplies and proceed to take off the shoes, then the shorts (now wet but he’s wearing pull ups too) so take the diaper off to wipe him off while talking to the therapists … SNAP … OMG!
My back went out. It felt like my spine had just rolled over completely. The pain shot up so fast. I could barely continue changing the diaper. If any of you have ever hurt your back you know the walk you do to compensate for your lower back hurting. The butt sticks out so much further and you’re hunched over.
Thank goodness I had the medical stroller versus the wheelchair. Our accesible van died this winter, so it’s easier for me to lift the stroller out but sometimes I have the chair. I sat during my son’s appointment and watched thinking “please God let me walk out of here, get him in the car and the stroller in the car too”. It was a good visit, she said he didn’t seem to be any tighter than he use to be and his range was good. He laughed during the stretching too (makes it nice). So after treatment she put him in his chair for me and buckled him in. Now I just have to make it to the car. I made it but it did make it a very long day. Lifting and caring for a child that isn’t able to do anything for themself when your sick or injured isn’t easy.
Today I got up and could hardly get out of bed, it was going to be another very long day! This time I had to go out. Take husband to work, pick up my mom and take her to her oncology appointment, I called from her driveway and said I wasn’t coming in because my back was hurting SOOO bad I didn’t want to lift my son in and out of the van any more than I had to lift him. After the appointment I just dropped her off and came home. I stretched out on the floor with my son laying on my back.
Then I laughed my butt off, here I was on the floor with my son and I had nobody else there to help me off the floor. It took a while, but I did get up off the floor. I decided not to do that again with help. I did take the phone down on the floor with me but I didn’t have anyone to call. Life is so much fun!
So it’s on days like this I wish we qualified for some help. But even though my son has Cerebral Palsy (quadraplegic), blind, has seizure disorder, non-verbal, high tone, and completely dependent on us for careand feeding … he doesn’t qualify for any assistance. What do you do for help? Do you have friends or family that really come through for you at times like this? I know in a couple days it’ll feel better, tender, but better … in the mean time I’ll keep doing what I do 
with a smile.
I have been as helpless as you, minus the parental oncology appt. But, somehow, out-of-the-blue, help has arrived in a most unexpected way. One time an acquaintance at a graduation open house told me that her daughter was “looking for someone to help” as a preparation in discerning a call to become a nun. The year she helped me saved my life and my sanity. Then she did become a nun. Wish I could have kept her, but it seemed God knew exactly when I needed help the most, and when I could handle things again. I always remember this when this special needs life starts to overwhelm me again.
I know the feeling! I also have back problems and I am all too familiar with that OMG moment. I, too, have to carry my son everywhere and all of the equipment that comes with it. I have been very fortunate to have help in the most unexpected ways. First, when he was born and I was overwhelmed with having a 14 month daughter at home and a newborn who seemed to have problems developing on a daily basis. First, it was his skin, then his vision, then the seizures started. I was talking to a friend who suggested that I put an ad in our local college paper for a “mother’s helper” to come to the house while I was home and help. I placed the ad and had no response for over a month. Then out of the blue a girl called. She used to be a nanny before starting college. She was a senior who loved kids. She fit perfectly for us. She came about 10-15 hours a week depending on her college schedule and the kids adored her and she truly adored them. But most importantly, I trusted her with my fragile son! She was with us for her senior year of college and then off she went to follow her life path. I remember when she left feeling like, “what am I going to do now?”. But we were okay. She gave me the sanity I needed so that I could care for my children without feeling guilty that my daughter was being dragged to doctor’s everywhere and that my son was getting a somewhat “normal” infancy.
I then had another blessing happen just last year when I started to feel like I couldn’t juggle everything. My mom was laid off from her job. At first, there was financial worries. But God saw us through that and now I do have help when I need it. I am thankful everyday that I do! I wonder how I was able to do it all before. I do believe that God is there to help us before “special needs” becomes all that we and our families are.
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