I am, not by a long shot, a fashion maven. Most days, I rock the t-shirt and jeans look.Some days, I’m lucky if I get to wash my face (showering is clearly not happening on a daily basis!).
Up until recently, I haven’t cared how I look (seriously, I tried to water down mascara that expired in 2006). I’ve spent 5 years dragging a little boy to and fro, over the river, up hill both ways. I’m tired. I’m worn out. I’m weary. I’ll admit that freely, although it took me a long time to be “ok” with myself for saying such things.
Truth be told, I’d be a perfect match for some of those TV shows that make over people who look terrible.Only I’d be the one wearing the same clothes two days in a row. How embarrassing!
So, I started to look at my life to decide what I could do to make me feel more human and less like the chauffeur, constant medicine woman, and general grunt of the house. I know that my situation is not going to change. I will always be Jack’s mom. I will always need to be on my toes and sharp.
But, I’m still a woman who needs to feel like she’s more than the slob who walks blankly through the Kroger to figure out what’s for dinner.
I have mom hair. I’m a petite girl to begin with. I have thick, long, green hair. I look like a troll.
(Yes, I have green hair. See, well..When I got the wild hair to make myself look better, I thought I’d dye over my previously highlighted hair (because I don’t have time to go get my hair done the week before Christmas). Well, that didn’t exactly work to my advantage, and I now have green streaks in my hair.)
My hair weighs me down. Literally and figuratively. I don’t do it. I get up, throw the brush through it, and pop it up in a clip all day. I can’t honestly remember the last time that my hair didn’t look like that. I don’t remember the last time I let it be long.
So, it’s going. I’m getting rid of it.
For me.
Because maybe, just maybe, getting rid of unwanted weight (in the form of hair) will help me remember that I am not just Jack’s mom. I’m also a wife. The mother of an almost-teenager. I’m still sassy! I may not wear heels and hose on a daily basis, but I can care more. I can care about me. I haven’t done that in a long time.
It’s time.
In this hectic time of year, please take a second to see yourself as more than just a mom. Be fun. Be sassy. Be you.










Ugh! I have mom hair too! I haven’t worn lipstick since…I have no idea!
I should at least do my eyebrows!
Great reminder!
Ooh…eyebrows! That’s a great reminder for me too! HA!
Thanks for sharing. I have short hair, have for like forever. never was very good girlie girl!! My hairdresser just smiles i say I have a wash and go life so please let my hair do the same. Thankfully she is able to do.
A few years ago when the being the Mom of a child needing that bit extra and then finding the older brother had a bit of it I found myself doing lots of therapy type stuff-conductive education*2 a week, swimming lessons for a one year old, movement class for the older brother to help etc… Life was kinda hectic so I had some wash and go life clothes- sweatshirts and sports pants( not for running I can assure you) My Mom had come to visit and said oh I don’t like you in grey!!!! I said oh well it works, wash and go… My Mom by the way is super and wonderfully supportive just a shame she lives 3000 miles away. If she was closer I know I would have actually been able to go shopping for something other than grey, grab and go shirts..
Good luck with the haircut. Go for it. Makes life that bit easier and thanks for the advice. I am going to take it because somewhere underneath this all there is still me!!!! We are lucky because after four years of hard work and looking for answers we are beginning to see the light for the trees. My son has just had a good 2nd half term at school. He just started full time in September and it was a bit bumpy thanks to those who thought they knew better. Have kicked them to the curb…No vomiting spells since April and this was a monthly occurence at least last year.
Peace.
You know what…my mom says the only thing I wear is black. We’ll have to tackle this together! I’ll hold your hand, you hold mine! I’m so glad your year is better! Big hugs!
Go for it!! Cut it off. Get a little diversity in your life. We get stuck in the routine which is our special needs kids and forget that we are in control of ourselves.
My kids are in high school and have reminded me that the jeans I wear are the ones I wore on a field trip to the pumpkin patch. It’s time for us to reclaim a bit of ourselves just for ourselves.
I say cut your hair, wear it green, purple or sparkly. Change is good for us.
By the way, I wanted to tell you about another book I found. It’s about parents taking care of adults with special needs but I thought you might find it interesting. LIfe Planning for Adults with Developmental Disabilities by Judith Greenbaum PhD.
Happy Holidays.
Thank you! I did it! I still keep looking in the mirror to make sure it’s still me!
I’m adding the book to my ever-growing list! Thank you! Enjoy your holidays!
Amen sister! I’m tired all the time. I’m hagard often. I’m unshowered in 2-day old clothes more than I care to admit. I think Oprah should do a full make-over show on a bunch of us Moms of kiddies with special needs. We are a deserving class unto ourselves and soooo overlooked by soooo many it’s not even funny. If I pitch it, who’s with me?
OH PLEASE Take me with you! We are totally under-served. We need help! I think that would be so cool. And you know what, we’d appreciate it so much more than most anyone else!
Me, too, PLEASE!
I love this post! It reminds me that I, too need to do something for myself. I love Maggie Mae’s idea of a makeover show! I often go unshowered and in the same frumpy clothes all weekend long! Also, as soon as I get home from work I put on sweats and a big shirt – more for functionality since I am always on the floor with the boys. I could at least invest in some cute sassy athletic wear that makes me look hot while crawling around on the floor.
girl, if you find sassy athletic clothes, share with me, K? I don’t know. I’m a big fan of jeans myself. And like you, I’m often in the same clothes all weekend. I remember a long time ago when I actually went out on weekends, now I just hang at home and pretend I’m relaxing. Ha!
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