Too Much to Ask? — 5 Minutes for Special Needs


I had a meeting today with various members of our support team at school. I was trying to understand more about what is going on with the child’s writing, and basically learned nothing. “She’s doing fine. Yes, we acknowledge the struggle that writing, and indeed any expression of language is for her, but she’s meeting benchmarks, or close enough, so…”

So basically she hasn’t fallen far enough behind to warrant further…whatever the next step would be. We have to wait until she’s flailing. Flailing is bad for this child…(well for any child, but this one tends to respond with physical aggression)…Why is this so hard to understand and avoid?

I feel like I’m just constantly pushing, pushing, pushing for them to do more, to understand more, to listen more. I feel this even though I don’t think I’m the squeakiest wheel out there. Overall I’m amazed at how well the child has been doing since being forcibly transferred to this school. Maybe they think I should leave well enough alone? Should I just be satisfied?

I think like every other parent I just want her to have the best shot possible at fulfilling her true potential. The challenge is that to help her reach that potential she’s going to need a little more support and skilled teaching. Is it too much to ask?


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Kimberly is the mother of three wonderful children: an eight-year-old who is somewhere on the autism spectrum, and twin four-year-olds who are just very busy little people. We live on routine with a side of novelty.

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1 Jo March 2, 2012 at 5:27 am

I am sorry your are facing this. However from talking to other parents and some of my own experience it is the case that the “system” only really steps in when the child is failing. It is awful and so unfair on the children.
Sadly it is a case of being the pushy a parent as my son’s neurologist described to me last week. He said it is proactive parents like you that push that get their kids what they need. I said proactive isn’t what some would call me and he smiled.
Apologies for not sending you the article I mentioned life got in the way…

I hope you are able to find some help.

2 KDL March 4, 2012 at 4:49 am

Upon reflection…I think I am most frustrated because I think I thought she was already there. I thought they were ready to start doing something to help, but they’re not. I still don’t even know what to call this new challenge – if it is new. It may just be a new piece of what we already know. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Jo. Perhaps I’ll just use that Proactive word to describe myself anytime I start feeling too pushy 🙂 Blessings. Thanks for the article.

3 Andrea April 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

I have this issue too with the school. My son has failed to be able to recognize even 5 out of the 26 letters in the alphabet after pre-school and almost a full year of kindergarten. They keep saying “Well keep trying.” when I know there is something more going on. We just have to keep pressing on and demanding they give our children the time and concern they deserve. Good luck!

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