“They know him almost better that we do….in a way.”
There was a time when C would have never said this. A time when, should someone utter these words to either of us, the emotions would swell. Our eyes, my eyes, would betray my immediate offense to the statement – the anger. How could anyone think they know our son better than we?
We who have raised him, helped fight his demons cried with, held down for medical procedures, given therapy to, laughed with, cried with, marveled over and advocated for! How could anyone know him better?!? But on the day of this statement, he is correct…not that “they” know him better, but similarly or as well as we do. Who? His educators.
We are blessed with a fairly good team surrounding J at school. The teacher, phenomenal (of course, she’s a fellow warrior). His aides are good – growing in the understanding, certainly learning, but good.
They spend 7 hours a day with J, 5 days (or less) a week with him. They push his independence, his limits for what he believes is his learning. They guide, praise, redirect and encourage him that entire time. They “study” him for triggers and communicate what works best for him. They eat with, play, work and socialize with him.
They know him. We rely on their observations, discoveries, behavioral techniques and interventions for us to implement at home. They have the dedicated time to figure these things out.
Now, should we talk about a different staff, school or circumstance, this view may be entirely different. But today, without anger, resentment or generally just having my feelings hurt, I’m willing to concede that….they know him as well as we do.