The ” Good Enough” Mom

I am about 12 years into motherhood now.. and like lots of Mom’s I know, I still don’t feel like I’m getting it right. Mothering kids with medical issues takes a purposeful amount of focus and attention, the kind that sometimes prevents you from being that cool ” chill” kind of mom..yet still I try , and every day I learn.

I have learned that sometimes rolling off the bed as a result of a tickle fight is the kind of good clean fun that all kids need, low muscle tone or not. 

I have learned that a smiling , happy faced kid, that got that ” 5 more minutes!” in the pool she desperately wanted can help you dismiss and not obsess over-the flushed color of her fatigued face.

I have learned that your sad, crying kid- can break your heart at any age- whether a sick toddler unable to tell you what’s wrong or a frustrated, overtired 10 year old that just can’t verbalize every feeling she feels.

I have learned that your child can inspire you in the every day.. that if a kid who has to work so hard to accomplish the easiest task ( go to school with an overflowing backpack of medicine, snacks, toileting aids, technology super tools, a walker , a power wheelchair and a full time aide)  is able to end her day proclaiming ” I love my life!” than what do we have to really complain about anyway? Happiness is what you make it.

I have learned that parenting never gets easier, it just changes all the time.

When my youngest daughter Zoe, was 3, I was worried she would never walk, never speak- or learn what she needed to know. I was new at being a special needs kind of mom.

Now, Zoe is almost 10, and I still worry about the way she walks, the way she speaks- and how she learns. I am experienced at being her Mom, but in the back of my head , still think like I am her therapist.

I have learned that when O sometimes cries to me, feeling sad about the extra attention her sister receives, or whatever else I might have done to hurt her feelings- that it is okay to admit that I am not perfect and that I have failed, and that to hold her tight will make things amazingly better.

I have learned that at bedtime, when Zoe  curls up against my chest, awkwardly propping her head against me.. that it’s okay not to reach for a pillow to support her tired muscles, that it’s okay to just let her be- and pull her into me.

That just holding her in my arms is ..  good enough.

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Suzanne is the motivated mom to two daughters affected by mitochondrial disease. She shares a cozy home in Scottsdale with her handsome husband Bruce, smart and spunky daughter Olivia (10), sassy yet sweet daughter Zoe (9) Frankie the Bernese Mountain dog and Max, the Golden Retriever. She is an avid reader, obsessive coffee drinker, wannabe knitter, advocate for kids with special needs, and a reunited adoptee.

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