We’re Not So Very Different…

I sat backstage tugging off her ballet slippers, coaxing her to help put crayons away amidst a giggling knot of pint-sized ballerinas. With the recital just days away, it was a relief to finally be done with the dress rehearsal and my thoughts wandered toward dinner and bedtime plans as I scrabbled after one last errant crayon.

I so didn’t expect what happened next.

A beautiful little girl with a twinkle in her eyes playfully picked up my daughter’s ballerina rag-doll and danced her through the air toward the open dance bag I held in my hands. My normally thoughtful and sunny 6-year-old child turned with a scowl at the thought of someone else touching her treasured toy. Then her features twisted yet again with a look of bewilderment.

And for a moment, I was at a loss.

You see, the little girl with the sparkle in her eyes had cerebral palsy. And this was the first time my little girl was old enough to remember meeting anyone with cerebral palsy.

But I’m ashamed to say that wasn’t the first thought that came to me. No… the first thought I had was more along the lines of wanting to pull my child out into the hall and set her straight.

After all my little girl has been personally been through, I thought to myself, how could she?

She should know better! I’ve taught her to treat EVERYONE with kindness, courtesy, and respect! How can she just sit there staring with that shocked look on her face? She KNOWS she doesn’t like it when it happens to her!

And then I realized.

She was looking to me for guidance. Trying to take cues from me that I wasn’t giving.

Instead, I was sitting there mentally flipping out over my expectations for her appropriate response using skills that I hadn’t yet taught her.

And so I stopped.

I taught.

I smiled at the other little girl and she grinned and waved. I looked back toward my little girl, “I think she likes your ballerina dolly — and if I’m not mistaken, she was just giving her a dancing lesson.”

The other little girl laughed and clapped her hands and my little girl responded with a nervous darting of her eyes and a timorous smile.

I turned back to the other little girl and asked, “Have you had your turn dancing on-stage yet?”

She worked hard with the words. I was just able to make out her reply, “Not yet.” Followed by a brilliant smile.

“Well, I hope you won’t have too much longer to wait.” I smiled back and as I stood up I heard a sound that was music to my ears — the voice of my own little girl chiming in on the conversation.

“We have to go home for dinner now. Thank you so very much for helping me pick up my toys! I’ll see you Saturday, OK?”

And two little girls, two new friends giggled and waved to each other as one was led smiling by her mom to the door.

On the way home we talked — my daughter and I.

Building on past conversations. Speaking of kindness and courtesy. Of friendship and grace. Remembering what it feels like to be singled out as different and how much better it feels to find friendship in the smile of another.

Today, May 15th, is International Vascular Birthmark Awareness Day.

A day not only set aside to raise awareness about vascular birthmarks, but to raise awareness about the importance of looking past differences to the beauty, the soul, the heart of a person. The importance of seeing a person for who they are inside, not what they look like, how they move, or what they sound like.

My daughter was born with a lymphatic malformation. A rare form of a vascular birthmark that collapsed her windpipe when she was just two weeks old.

The Vascular Birthmark Foundation helped us learn about our daughter’s treatment options, connect with other families with similar diagnoses, and discover the possibilities within our daughter’s medical future. If you would like to learn about how you can help the Vascular Birthmark Foundation assist other families, please visit them at their website.

My family has learned a lot about seeing people for who they are inside — often from hard-won personal experiences but also from lovely souls like Evan Ducker, a little boy who followed his dream to write a children’s story to help others understand what it feels like to be different…

My little girl adores this book! She loves to read it on days when she’s felt a little to singled out for being different. Today, it was wonderful to be able to read the book again from a different perspective. When we read the story today, we talked about how important it is to remember to see, think of, and treat other people the same way that we wish to be seen, thought of and treated.

Because one of my fondest hopes for my children is that they grow up to be filled with integrity, compassion and kindness.

To celebrate International Vascular Birthmark Awareness Day, my daughter and I would love to share a copy of this beautiful hardcover book with one of you!

If you would like a chance to win this lovely book just leave me a comment below. Additional entries can be earned by:

1. Twittering this opportunity

2. Subscribing to our feed

3. Posting about this opportunity and International Vascular Birthmark Awareness Day

For each extra entry simply come back and tell me about it with a comment on this post.

This opportunity will go from now until midnight EST Thursday May 28th.

Offer is only available in the U.S.

Please be sure to read our Terms and Conditions

S2

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Questions? Please feel free to email Michelle at childlif[at]gmail[dot]com or come and visit her at In The Life of a Child

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