Invisible Wings

The nurses on our ward are angels with invisible wings.

They are almost like a second family to Ivy and I.

I can even tell some of them how much of a failure I feel.

How my mothering takes a severe beating when I have to bring Ivy to the hospital, tail between my legs, because I can’t make her better.

They sit with me as big salty tears pour from my eyes and they listen and comfort.

They treat me as an equal.

They talk to Ivy and include her.

This ward is kind of like our safe haven as we work our way through Ivy’s journey.

The nurses know us.

I don’t tell many of them that I am a nurse.

You see, in my experiences, nurses treat nurses badly. They feel threatened in some way, that they are perhaps being watched, being judged and so they are cautious or awkward or both.

So, I don’t say but the nurses on our ward,

they know

and they don’t care.

In fact, they embrace my RN status.

They have walked with us.

They have cheered with our triumphs and they have cried with us on bad days.

They have brought tissues and padded quietly about, watching, always watching. Gaging the emotions that charge this small room.

I know they are taught to prompt and encourage parents to talk.

I know because I was taught the very same thing but I also know that you don’t have to be that kind of nurse. You can avoid those situations if you want to, if you don’t want the confrontation.

The nurses on our ward don’t do that.

They are angels.

On this visit, the rooms are full to overflowing with flu.

The nurses are gowned and gloved and wear heavy duck bill masks as they enter in and out of the rooms. Parents are tense and babies wail after they cough, their pain apparent through the thin walls.

I see the nurses come in new and I see them leave exhausted. Their days are heavy with the physical and the emotional toll and yet they turn up the next day with open palmed kindness and a clean slate.

They are always explaining, always comforting, always doing.

I have worked in some crazy, stressful environments. Even in paediatrics for a short while and I have experienced the vast spectrum of nursing on both sides of the fence

but I have to say that on the ward where we are staying every single nurse has been gorgeous, generous and wonderful.

I love that they love Ivy.

I love that they look out for me.

The nurses on our ward

are most definitely angels.

Originally posted at Three Ring Circus

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