My second daughter, Isabelle was born via c-section eight years ago. She was not at all happy about being taken from her warm, dark environment.
She spent the first hour of her life screaming a high pitch scream that had me and my husband questioning if a second baby was really such a good idea.
She continued to be high maintenance from that day on. I had to continually hold her while providing constant movement just for her to fall asleep. Even then she had difficulty staying asleep.
By four months of age, Isabelle started showing aversion to the taste of my breast milk when I ate certain foods. There were very few baby food flavors she liked and by eight months she refused the breast altogether. Finding foods that did not cause her to gag or choke was difficult.
She did not walk until she was nearly fifteen months old and even then she still preferred to be held or only walked on her tippy toes. She actually thought “my legs are broken” was a viable excuse to not walk. Don’t even get me started on all the tantrums she threw on a daily basis.
She survived on chocolate milk and a multivitamin during her toddler years, barely maintaining a normal weight. Eating still continues to be a challenge for her due to such a severe aversion to certain smells, textures, and the look of food.
It is not unusual for her to gag or vomit just over the thought of food. We have had to leave restaurants suddenly because the food didn’t look right to her and recently she stayed in the restroom while we finished our meal because the smell in the restaurant was too overwhelming for her. I had to carry her out with a napkin over her nose.
Clothing has also been an area of great distress for her. All tags have to be removed and it is not unusual for her to change her clothes several times a day. For many years she only wore skirts because she couldn’t stand pants on her legs. Underwear never felt right and she would wear the one pair that did until it was dingy and thread bare. Socks cannot have seams or have to be turned inside out and anything that felt right one day may very well not the next.
Recently we found underwear that she actually finds comfortable and I was so thankful that I wrote the Hanes people a letter of gratitude. It’s been such a relief after so many years of frustration.
Although Isabelle’s sensory issues have been a great struggle at times they are becoming more manageable as we learn to view these situations with humor . Talking about Isabelle’s “underwear or puking problem” is as normal to us as discussing what movie we should watch. Our unconditional love for her has helped her to accept who she is and to recognize her strengths and limits in a positive way.
And sometimes she gets validation from the most unexpected places.
Just the other day Isabelle ran across The Princess and the Pea on her book shelf. She brought it to me and said, “Look mom. there is a princess who feels everything just like me and this man would only marry her if she could feel a tiny pea under a bunch of mattresses.”
Sure enough, the story tells us that:
They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin.
So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess, and the pea was put into the Museum, where it may still be seen if no one has stolen it.
A real princess. Unique. An original. Someone to be cherished.
Just like our Isabelle.
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