Recently it became obvious to me that special needs parents often speak to each other in code. I suppose it has always been around and is often used in medical support forums where everyone is speaking the same lingo.
You know it. It’s the shorthand: Neuro, Pulmo, CHD, Mito, OT, PT & CI, just to name a few. I guess I have been so immersed in, what Ellen calls ‘the sisterhood of the special needs child‘, I never realized we were speaking a whole different language.
Actually it is not just special needs parents, nearly every group has their own lingo; SEO, LOL, DH, FB…abbreviations are everywhere.
Now granted, not every special needs parent will know and use the same lingo, that is to be expected, as not all SN kids are created equal. What I did not realize is that the use of this shorthand was somehow bothersome to others, who do not have a SN child or background.
Because personal life often spills over onto social media sites, like Facebook or Twitter, occasionally someone will use SN lingo. No worries, those that understand will comment or answer the question at hand. Generally, those that have no idea what the person is saying will not comment on that particular conversation, or offer some other kind of support. ((HUGS)) are always welcome.
Lately, I have noticed quite a few “I have no idea what you mean” “what are you talking about?” “you lost me” type of responses. Huh?
To be honest there are tons of conversations, on Twitter in particular, that I do not enter into if I am not knowledgeable about the subject. I take no offense to those who can chat about being frugal, going green, or Justin Beiber. These are topics I am not familiar with. I assumed that was the natural ebb & flow of social media conversations. Apparently that is not always the case.
I was interested in what other SN moms had to say about this so I posed this question to my blog community.
Do you ever find that typical moms do not understand your SN lingo?
I received such honest responses. Without hesitation, Kristi Pena answers, “DEFINITELY.” She admits to saving such conversation for other SN moms online, because often she feels like an alien speaking another language with her family. Welcome to my planet Kristi!
Ah, people who understand. The consensus seemed to be that those belonging to ‘the sisterhood’ are comforted in sharing a secret language.
We connect. We comfort. We accept each other.
But I think Barb Dittrich said it best, “Not having to explain terms & language is what makes our bond as mothers of kids with special needs unique. We bring one another comfort simply by knowing what the other is talking about. What a gift!”
I have to agree. It is a gift to be able to connect with and support other special needs parents online and I plan to keep right on doing so. That’s what I love about this community; someone who understood ME was able to put something that was really bothering me into perspective.
It turns out our language is not so secret after all, it’s called support.
Janis chronicles Austin’s life and medical journey at Sneak Peek At Me. She is an advocate for medically fragile children and families living with a rare disease diagnosis.