Every 6 weeks or so, we spend part of our morning with The Neurologist.
He notices Jack’s new hat.
I notice that he’s lost weight.
He asks how J is doing with school.
I ask how his girls are doing in high school.
We dance the dance.
He tells me things I don’t want to hear–when he grabs Jack’s hand and avoids eye contact.
I try to not cry by cracking jokes or being sarcastic.
Yet, all in all, facts remain: this is our life.
Forever.
Why is it that every label, diagnosis, or enigma makes us feel awful?
It shouldn’t. I’m trying hard to see them as necessary evils to procure whatever we need to make this little guy’s life as full as possible. But, I still take it somewhat personally.
What could I do better? What did I do wrong? Should I have pushed harder? What can I do now?
Do you feel that way? Do you hate one particular specialist appointment?
(I’m also not a fan of the pulmonologist, but that’s for another day!) 🙂