I’ll feel better…

…After I talk about this. I need to preface this post by saying: I promise not all of my posts are serious. This just effected me so much and I feel the need to talk about it. You’ll understand this post more if you read THIS post first (don’t worry, it’s short).

On Monday morning, I read on facebook that my best friend of 23 years lost her son after a VERY long battle with MANY medical complications. I was immediately heartbroken. I had just seen Nena 2 weeks prior. And I had casually mentioned that if anything were to happen to Glenn- her son- I would be there for her. Of course it’s Christmas and money isn’t really plentiful right now. After speaking with Nena, all she kept saying is that she wanted me with her. She lives 4 provinces away from me. Her boyfriend- John- called me shortly after I talked to Nena. He asked if I was short on money, I didn’t respond and he said “don’t worry about your flight, it’s taken care of” Wow. Generous or what? He had only met me 2 weeks ago.

I wanted to get to Newfoundland as quickly as possible. John booked my flight leaving at 10:55 pm EST and arriving in Newfoundland at 3:15 am- early Wednesday morning.  Unfortunately I couldn’t sleep on the plane and then I didn’t get much sleep at my friend Susan’s house that morning since I was going to meet Nena in our old hometown. There was a visitation where we used to live and then Glenn was transported to the city for another day and a half of visitation.

The first night we were in St. John’s, there was a girl named *J* there. She is “seeing” Nena’s ex- Daniel. To make matters worse she and Nena used to be VERY close friends since both of their children had CP. (Daniel had cheated on Nena with *J*). *J* was standing up by Glenn’s casket (oh. And it was open.) sobbing “How am I ever going to make it through this?!” acting as if she were Glenn’s mother. It was rather disgusting. Plus? She and Daniel were standing SO close to each other and looked like they were going to make out on the spot. John was very respectful through the whole thing. If Nena wanted him, he went into the room, if not, he was in the lobby- trying to give Nena and Daniel privacy.

The next night, this girl (Let’s call her “M” shall we?) showed up to the visitation DRUNK. Like SO drunk she could hardly stand up. In fact? She almost fell into Glenn’s casket. Then she knocked over all the stuffed animals around her. I couldn’t believe someone had the NERVE to show up to a funeral loaded. Nena even heard her later throwing up in the bathroom.

When Nena called me to tell me what happened, she asked me to sing at Glenn’s funeral. I couldn’t say no. Nena has been one of my best friends for 23 years. If she needed me, so be it. I was REALLY worried about it though. How was I going to maintain composure before I had to sing? I decided at first to people watch. But then realized everyone was crying. I managed not to cry by biting the insides of my mouth- I swear I’ll have canker sores soon! She asked me to sing Amazing Grace. Thankfully, I had Glenn’s music therapy teacher playing with me. Once I was finished singing, I basically ran to the pew where I collapsed. I couldn’t control the tears and I could barely stand up. Not counting all of my experiences with Jillian, this was one of the hardest things I have ever done.

Nena told me what happened. Or at least to the best of her abilities. Glenn had stayed up a little later than usual since there was a hockey game on (his whole family LOVES hockey) Nena decided to be nice to him and let him sleep in a little longer, she went to get his morning meds and mixed his “breakfast” (he’s J-Tube and G-Tube fed) she quickly hopped into the shower and then went to get Glenn. When she found him, he had a smile on his face and his arms up as if to say “pick me up”. Nena did 30 minutes of CPR before the paramedics got there. People asked her why she bothered. Even though his monitors were all flat lined, she needed to try. I wish I could take some of Nena’s pain away, but I truly hope I will never feel the way she is now.

Glenn Daniel Collins Howlett- July 9, 2004- November 22, 2010

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