Got My Back Up — 5 Minutes for Special Needs

Got My Back Up

by Beth


On Thursday, we had a great meeting with Precious’ occupational therapist, physical therapist and vice principal.  By ‘we’, I mean me, as DH was flat on his back; a victim of the same virus that has been plaguing our family for the last 4 weeks.

Precious’ teacher and her speech and language pathologist were both absent from the meeting, as one had an appointment and the other was sick.

The occupational therapist (OT) and physical therapist (PT) had both recently assessed Precious for the first time and they both seemed to understand pretty well where she is developmentally.  They both had new ideas for activities we can do with Precious to help her and they are incorporating these into the school.  I was pleased to see how supportive the vice principal was.

Since transferring to school, Precious is now in transition between two different care providers, hence the new OT and PT.   We met the new case manager and she took notes at the meeting and generally organized everything, which I really appreciated.

The one thing that bothered me was the sheets that came home from both therapists and the case manager.  In several places, they stated something like “your child will be discharged from our care if you do not comply with our program recommendations at home.”

That really got my back up for three reasons:

1. It implies that I wouldn’t want to do the work at home to help my child reach her goals.

2. It implies that if I didn’t agree with what they suggest for my child that their decision would take precedence over mine.  Who knows her better: them or me?

3. It implies that they have some kind of right to check up on me and/or see what we’re doing at home with our child.

DH tried to calm me by telling me this was just a standard clause, but I’m not buying it.  I’m not going to hold it against either of the therapists or the case manager, but I will be bringing it up when I am asked for feedback about the process.  I think it’s unduly confrontational and violates the precedence I believe the parents have over the care of their child.

Email Author    |    Website About Beth

Beth is a mother of three, happily married, Canadian, and working for the government full time. Her youngest daughter, Precious, has a global developmental disability. The family keeps themselves busy with piano lessons, swimming, school, work, gymnastics, skating and hockey.

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1 Tammie February 20, 2011 at 10:57 pm

I can remember an assesment I went to, I was excited that these people saw what I saw. But then I got their report about a month later, it was nothing of what they had talked about at the meeting. I was disgusted to say the least. I stewed on everything they said. Shared copies with our local therapists at the hospital, but said this isn’t what they told me at our meeting. Another problem with them telling me what I need to do with my child is, they act like you have all the time in the world. They’re at school, they come home from there and you’re trying to make dinner and feed them then it’s baths and bed…where are you supose to squeeze this stuff in???

2 Cheryl February 21, 2011 at 2:08 am

when I read that clause, I immediately got my back up about it too. I would feel exactly the same way you do. I’m SO sorry you’re going through this!

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