Family Life — 5 Minutes for Special Needs — Page 2

Family Life

I’m back…

Sorry I disappeared for a couple of posts there. We were traveling on the days that I was supposed to post, and although I had great intentions of writing something ahead of time…well, you understand.

We took care of my mother-in-law for a couple of weeks. It was easier in some ways, and harder in others. I see her declining ever so slightly. The good news is she is too confused to fight with us as much as she used to. The bad news is, she is very confused. First she was visiting at our house and she kept thinking that her things were missing because her brain was spending some portion of time telling her she was at her house.

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Perfectly Imperfect

That’s what I am.

 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get bone tired. Tired beyond tired. Tired to the point where all I crave is sleep, and yet  it eludes me.

It is in these moments of sheer exhaustion that I sometimes have the most clarity. It makes no sense to me, but hey…

I don’t want to be the Best Mother on the Face of the Earth. I want to be the best mother to my kids. I will fight for their education, make sure they are clean and fed, and love them to bits and pieces.

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Jack met with the developmental psychologist on Tuesday for a few hours. We have been noticing some hard-core aggression along with some other really disturbing “new habits” that have come up in the past few months (for example, he’s taken to not sleeping again, and he’s picked all the nails off his fingers and toes). It was time.

She is amazing.

The office is amazing.

They have an education advocate who comes in to introduce herself and she calls you to make sure you’re getting everything you should from the county (school wise). I nearly wept with joy.

After two hours of pouring our hearts out and her seeing Jack at his absolute worst, I felt like we were actually in the right place, with the right provider for Jack.

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Interdependence

Nope. Not a typo. I know it is the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day, everyone, and special thanks to our troops and veterans!

Grandma (my dear Mother-In-Law) is coming to visit us today, which means we’ll soon be having fireworks of our own. Everyone aged four to eighty-four in our house will be claiming “independence.”

I can do it myself! I don’t need your help! I’m in charge!

fireworks over a bright cityscape

fireworks by bayasaa via flickr

I think I’m starting to see that this isn’t really true for any of us, however. Even the most strong-willed and able-bodied among us need a little help now and then.

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Be Prepared….

Living in Florida, I know a bit about natural disasters. Like when, in 2005, 3 hurricanes hit us in 6 weeks. I got a new roof twice.

Back then, I only had the Girl Child, who was 5. She was self-sufficient, opinionated, and stubborn–but she knew when Momma said, “Get in the bathroom and cover up with a mattress, ” I meant business!

Fast forward to now. Jack is part of us. He requires extra preparation and forethought.

Did you know…that there are a TON of states that could, at any time, be hit by a hurricane? Did you know that September is the month when hurricanes most likely occur?

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Fixing the Unfixable

Apparently I have given the child the impression that this is what I am capable of. It was quite false of me to give her the impression that I can fix everything, and I am paying for it big time.

After lots and lots of temper-driven exchanges (and we both have hot tempers…sigh.) I stepped back and recognized the trend. Something will happen that I can’t fix:

  • She can’t go to the birthday party because she was sick the day before.
  • Her siblings are invited to something and she is not.
  • Plans are unexpectedly changed in a way that I have no control over.
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It’s the Little Things

My girls are suddenly into having pretty fingernails. They want me to use nail polish and make their fingers “fancy.” The four year old is particularly hooked on anything fancy and, in spite of her tomboy spirit the eight year old wants anything her sister gets – especially Mom’s undivided attention as I apply the polish.

Now when was the last time I took the time to make myself fancy? Let’s see…

  • I haven’t had a haircut in over a year.
  • Showers are still a rare and special treat.
  • Last time I had a real pedicure was almost two years ago.
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Fatherhood, redefined…

My life changed drastically the day we adopted Jack. I just didn’t know how much it was changed.

We struggled to have our oldest child. She was born early, but healthy. Shortly after her birth, I had a large lump removed from my breast. 2 months after that, I had a complete hysterectomy. We knew we would never have another biological child, and we weren’t even sure we wanted to adopt at that point.

However, when J turned 5, she started questioning us about babies and why she couldn’t have a sibling. Our hearts began to change, and by the time J was 6 and a half, we had prayed enough, thought enough, and felt strongly enough to complete a home study and begin the adoption process.

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Patience Pays Off

Last week as I was writing about how hard it was to sit and wait for a pupa to get on with it and transform already, the little bugger was probably quietly doing just that. The next morning my husband picked up the bug house that the pupa had been inhabiting and I told him I was wondering if it was still alive. Knowing what he does about all things insect-like, my husband took it over to a bright sunny window and after inspecting it closely said, “The shell looks empty.”

“Empty? It couldn’t be…I just looked at it yesterday!”

He took the lid off the bug house and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw a large dark colored moth hiding upside down on the lid.

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Waiting…

Our green and brown caterpillar guests on their preferred leaves

Caterpillar stage

 

Remember this little guy? Well, about a month ago it finally pupated (is that a word?) and transformed into this…

pupa stage

Our caterpillar guest transformed, but...

Apologies that the photo isn’t better. I’ve been trying not to disturb it too much, since I suppose metamorphosis requires a lot of energy. I have to admit I’m having a hard time waiting, though. The caterpillar was at least fun to watch. This stage is like watching paint dry. I have to remind myself to check on the pupa every day (or so) to see if anything is happening. So far it just looks for all the world like an acorn that’s lost its hat.

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