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Happy November, Friends!

(How did this happen? Wasn’t it just January?)

The past few months have been sort of rough for us. For some reason, it seems like everything we’ve done, or tried to do, went horribly wrong. When things don’t go the way I envision them, I tend to get–shall we say–moody? Maybe not moody, but it makes me upset, because I am such a perfectionist (character flaw) that I want everything to go just the right way!

Boom. It hit me.

That is how it is to be our children. I’m sure that, somewhere in their bodies, they think “I want things to go right…for once!”

We focus so much on how to make the world better for them…and I think we sometimes forget to acknowledge the difficulty and emotions they must conquer daily. Some kids can’t verbalize this. I understand that. But maybe sometimes, a scream, or a bite, or a meltdown is just their way of saying, “Dang it! I need to be grumpy! This is not the way it should go!”

So, I’m vowing to change my attitude.

I’m going to spend this month–the month of Giving Thanks–to do just that. I want to be aware of the things that I am truly grateful for.

Today, I’m grateful for:

* A husband that puts up with me no matter what.

* Children who are not embarrassed to have the mom who wears pajamas to go to car line!

* Family who sends casseroles on rough days.

* Florida—where I can complain if it dips below 70 degrees!

* Our country–the place where we get to vote, we get to practice our chosen religion, and we get to see the human spirit soar through adversity.

What are you thankful for? (I’m thankful for YOU too!)



                               

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Hospital Homebound

School.

It’s happening around here. Some of the counties near where we live have already returned to recess, brown bag lunch, and smiling teachers. We…start Monday.

Well, my daughter starts Monday. My friend’s children start Monday.

Jack. Not so much.

See, we qualified for Hospital Homebound (HH). Basically, this is a school within a school. It has its own principal, teachers, guidance counselors, etc. Three times a week a teacher comes to my house and hangs out with Jack. Speech therapy and Physical therapy will visit him at home as well. However, it’s under the confines of the MotherSchool, which is the elementary that we are zoned for.

Read the full article →
 


                                       

Perfectly Imperfect

That’s what I am.

 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I get bone tired. Tired beyond tired. Tired to the point where all I crave is sleep, and yet  it eludes me.

It is in these moments of sheer exhaustion that I sometimes have the most clarity. It makes no sense to me, but hey…

I don’t want to be the Best Mother on the Face of the Earth. I want to be the best mother to my kids. I will fight for their education, make sure they are clean and fed, and love them to bits and pieces.

Read the full article →
 


                                       

Fatherhood, redefined…

My life changed drastically the day we adopted Jack. I just didn’t know how much it was changed.

We struggled to have our oldest child. She was born early, but healthy. Shortly after her birth, I had a large lump removed from my breast. 2 months after that, I had a complete hysterectomy. We knew we would never have another biological child, and we weren’t even sure we wanted to adopt at that point.

However, when J turned 5, she started questioning us about babies and why she couldn’t have a sibling. Our hearts began to change, and by the time J was 6 and a half, we had prayed enough, thought enough, and felt strongly enough to complete a home study and begin the adoption process.

Read the full article →
 


                                       

Scary Memories

I was sifting through my pile of papers this evening in preparation for our IEP meeting next week. It’s been a while since I’ve really taken the time to go through everything and get organized. We’ve had a relatively easy stretch for the last year or so, and I admit I have let things slide quite a bit. Well, we had a little reality check last week when the child had an hour long meltdown with a babysitter present. Time to gear up again.

I think I know why I deferred looking at all of these forms and reports. Reading through all of the paperwork brings back memories of the really scary times parenting this child.

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The Beauty in the Beast

We, lovingly, call Jack “The Beast” sometimes. We don’t mean it in a derogatory way at all. Just in a way that we all know is true— he’s kinda Beastly (he’s a growler…loves to growl all the time when we’re out. Growls at old ladies, at kids, at dogs…). Sometimes he’s “Beastly” or “My Beasty Boy”… you get the picture.

You see, I can see the Beauty in My Beast.

You see a kid that growls and is grumpy.  I see a kid who growls because he’s sick of people staring at him, and who hasn’t slept more than 4 hours a night in his life.

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Faith and Hope and Love.

The thing about faith is that…it’s not transient. You either have it or you don’t. You don’t have to believe in the God I believe in to have faith either. You can have faith in lots of things–doctors, teachers, friends.

To have faith, you have to trust. A lot. Believe. A lot.

So where does that leave us, as special needs parents? We deal with so many things on a daily basis. We put our faith in things we can’t see–the future, IEP goals, health care reform (heh).

There’s no magical devotion or book or lesson that speaks to my situation.

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Road Trip with Grandma

This will be short and sweet. I am sneaking this in while everyone else in the family is still sleeping, but who knows how long that will last. We are visiting my mother-in-law for a few days at her house. Today is the day we pack our little brood, and Grandma, and drive back home where she will visit with us for a week and a half. Last time we did this it was way better than I expected it to be. This time, I don’t know.

In case you have missed earlier posts, the brief version: Grandma evidently had a stroke at some point.

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Special Schools

This week has been one of those weeks where my emotions have gone from elation to fear to peace—and then back again!

It is time for Jack to head to school. In the past, I was determined that the only way he was going to do school was with me by his side (meaning: home school). I am, however, beginning to understand that there needs to be a break between my son and I.

His power (both physical and emotional) is getting stronger…

 

So, I looked in to schools. The public school near us would be OK, but he would be labeled as “Other Health Impaired” and a list of other things…meaning he would only hang out with the other kids for recess (which he can’t really do much of) and PE (same thing).

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Weddings (and other such events)

Tomorrow my brother is getting married.

In a quiet, small gathering.

On a boat.

At Disney World.

 

Now, while most people think this sounds romantic and lovely, I am a nervous wreck. My brother loves my son no matter what; however, if he decides to melt down or scream or narrate the entire event, I fear he’ll never speak to me again!

So, to make myself feel better, I tried to think of all the ‘What If’ moments that could happen, so that when something minor happens, I won’t freak out. It doesn’t make any sense to anyone but me, but that is OK.

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