Always Sad to Say Goodbye — 5 Minutes for Special Needs

Always Sad to Say Goodbye

by Kimberly



                               

The child reminded me of a poignant moment from her babyhood the other day. She was maybe three years old at the time, and still very much a baby with her speech  and social delays. I was with her at our church for some reason – going to a meeting or something and she was holding her favorite little super ball. It was clear rubber and had a bright pink sphere with a happy face on it. It was one of her favorite toys to carry around. It took me a few seconds too long to open the door and she got frustrated and threw her ball. I couldn’t believe how hard she threw it, and how far it went. Super ball, indeed! Our church sits on top of a steep hill, and that ball bounced all the way down the entry courtyard, out to the parking lot and down, down, down the hill. As it turned the corner I knew immediately we would never see that ball again and my heart sank. To this day, losing things is very hard for the child to handle, even if she “knows” we will eventually find it. No matter what it is she is looking for she cannot be calm until she finds it. At age three losing something permanently meant hour-long meltdowns – crying, kicking, hitting, whatever. Knowing this I spent some time looking around the parking lot, hoping the ball had landed in some nook or cranny of the asphalt, but it was nowhere to be seen. I had images of the thing rolling clear downtown. Hopefully some other child picked it up somewhere and enjoyed it for a while.

Goodbye is never easy, even as a grown up, but I believe that is where I am at.

Blogging has been an important part of my life for about three and a half years now, but I think it is a part that I need to say goodbye to, at least for now. Thinking about the child’s challenges and triumphs and recording them on my personal blog, and then here at 5 Minutes has been a real gift. It has helped me to stay on track with her, and to find inspiration and hope from fellow parents on this treacherous journey. I’m finding that this stage of our journey needs more active, direct interaction with her, and the time and energy required to keep blogging is a drain on my already limited resources. Sadly it is the easiest thing to let go of. I have tried to slack off in other areas and have found that it just adds to the chaos instead of lessening it.

I’ll be keeping my personal site “up” so that the archived articles can be accessed if people find them and want the information there. If I find that blogging becomes a useful tool again, I will jump back into it, but meanwhile I’ll be starting a new stage, and looking for new ways to make progress on this path. And hopefully some other special parent will pick up the ball and enjoy sharing with you all.

I wish you all God’s best as you continue to support our kids.

Email Author    |    Website About Kimberly

Kimberly is the mother of three wonderful children: an eight-year-old who is somewhere on the autism spectrum, and twin four-year-olds who are just very busy little people. We live on routine with a side of novelty.

View all articles by


                               

This post may contain affiliate links. When you use them, you support this site. Thank you!
See our Disclosure Policy for details.
1 Janet August 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm

Though I understand, it is still sad to see you go. I love the insight and thought in your blogging.

2 KDL August 9, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Thanks, Janet. I’ll miss y’all, but will try to stop by and visit now and then. Best.

3 Mary S August 10, 2012 at 8:54 am

We will miss you but as the mother of 2 children on the autism spectrum,I totally understand.I hope you have a blessed day and that the road forward has fewer bumps.

4 AM August 11, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I am (was) an occasional reader of your blog. I want to wish you the best of luck wherever life leads you.

5 Maggie Mae August 12, 2012 at 8:43 am

So sorry to see you go… for now. I enjoy reading about “the child.” I feel your “something’s gotta give” pain and know that I’ve been there and, I think, I’m just coming through the fog of it to the other side where, for me, blogging more often may be possible. My wish is that you find your way back as well, if that works for you at some point in the future. Writing can be such a great outlet for some of us and a beacon of light in the tunnel for readers. Good luck.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: