Thanks again to the ever fabulous Christine for helping me come up with a topic for this week!! It’s not that I lack the knowledge to come up with new and awesome posts, it’s mostly because I really like to hear suggestions from others on what I should tackle every week, so, that being said- if you have any brilliant ideas, please pass them my way!
Christine’s question for me was: If I had a choice, would I take away Jillian’s cerebral palsy or would I leave it as is. To be absolutely honest with you, I had been thinking about this question all week. I don’t even remember what SPARKED the thought. I mean on my own blog, my header says “Someone I love needs a cure” with a CP ribbon. That being said- would I WANT to change it.
Obviously, I would LOVE to have it so Jillian didn’t have to go through all that she does. But isn’t that every parents wish? To take whatever is hurting your child and bring it onto yourself? During this incredibly short journey, since diagnosis, (which sometimes seems at times INCREDIBLY long), Jillian has taught me SO much about myself I never knew was possible. Not only does she inspire me (and teach me), she has inspired other people as well.
My friend Melissa and I talk a lot about my new role with Holland Bloorview (family leadership). Most of our conversations end with Melissa saying she’s proud of me. She also asks if I ever saw this coming. I answer quickly (and probably bluntly…) “No. Not at all. But then, I never expected to have a special needs child either.”
I suppose for parents we’re all just struggling to do right for our children. I realized my NEED to advocate for Jillian since she is unable to at the moment. This is second nature to me now. Honestly, if I had the capability to take CP away, I’m not sure I would. Weird, right? I would take away her pain, and try to make things easier for her, but having a child with CP has changed ME so much and inspired SO many other people. And really? Most parents agree that even if their child is driving them crazy, they wouldn’t change them. They love them for who and what they are. I guess I’m still having an internal battle with myself.
How about you? Would you take away your child’s “superpower”? There are days that I would say “absolutely, without a doubt YES” (when she begs me to fix something that I can’t) and there are some days that I would say “no. I love my child and I wouldn’t change her for the world” After all, CP doesn’t define her, right?
To end this post on a happy note, we’re able to trial a walker at home for a week. Jillian is SUCH a rock star. We’ve had to get some weights to weigh it down a bit since the one she usually uses at PT has been thoroughly broken in! The wheels seem to be super fast and her legs just can’t keep up quite yet! But, she was VERY excited to show Adam how she walks! Lauren looked at Jillian walking and she said “Uh, Mom? I don’t think I like this walker very much… she’s going to get me, isn’t she?” Your days of running away from your sister are quickly coming to an end, Lauren!