2 Years Later, How Do I feel?

Saturday marked the 2 year anniversary since Jillian was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. Those first few days were a blur. Focusing mostly on survival and knowledge. I would stay up super late (like 3am) to research on how I could “fix” this problem. Oh poor naive me. There is no “fix”. We just have to grin and bare it and see how far Jillian takes us.

2 years ago, I had no idea how to approach this. 2 years ago, my naive brain only said I wanted Jillian to walk. (Unassisted. That was my goal. Walking. I look back at myself from 2 years ago and laugh. There are so many things you need to master before you even begin walking.)

(Commando crawling is all the rage, yo)

We were one of the lucky families. Jillian received diagnosis at 13 months old when typically (and really… nothing about Jillian is ‘typical’ hence the early birth and all) diagnoses aren’t given until at least 2 years of age. Because of our early diagnosis, we could begin the hurry up and waiting part of any other childhood issue. And if you know me, I am not the hurry up and wait kind of girl.

Thankfully now, the bad days and the pity parties are farther apart. It doesn’t mean I don’t still have them. I suppose it will be something I’ll always deal with. Wondering what is, what was and what could be. Even though this is one hell of a ride, I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Exactly what is wrong with my face?


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