Balancing Journey vs. Destination Mindset With Our Kids

“It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters in the end.” – Ursula K LeGuin

I think we as parents of special needs understand this more than any other parents in the world. And even still, I fight this truth so much. As someone who’s good at getting things done, organizing time, and facilitating groups and projects, the journey mindset nearly drives me crazy. I’m the mom who, on a long car drive, says “no, we’re not stopping to go to the bathroom again. We’ve got to GET to grandma’s house!”

We all do this at times. We have to. It’s not like our kids can get to school whenever they feel like it each day. Or like dishes can be put off forever.

Things have to get done. Ends must be pursued… as long as they’re healthy, life-giving ends.

For me, during the holidays that will look like:

  • Cooking fewer finicky recipes like toffee so the kids can make more messes be involved more
  • Letting the kids help me wrap presents instead of wanting everything to look perfect
  • Making time to enjoy holiday music with the family instead of having it as background music for overcommitted chaos
  • Cutting half the events I’d usually like to do, so we can enjoy the ones we attend
  • Taking in the pure joy on my kids’ faces as they discover lit-up homes in the neighborhood
  • Letting myself cry when I miss my 8 year old who’s still in the RTC
  • Deciding to stop making excuses for why we do Christmas differently
  • Letting go of my need for extended family to understand us
  • Reading more together
  • Laughing more
  • Living… in the journey towards the destination I hope for in our home: JOY.

What about you? What journey are you on this holiday?





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