My 20 year old son, Andy was getting ready to leave for Paris for a semester, and we were out shopping for shoes when his cell phone rang.
“I have to get this,” he said, and I thought it must be his girlfriend. He strolled away from me and carried on a conversation for a good 15 minutes, while I stared at the shoe racks impatiently. I felt frustrated and a little hurt. I had so little one-on-one time with my son that even a trip to the shoe store was a treat. I was just about to give him a nudge when he hung up the phone.
“I am so sorry,” he said, “that was my friend Kevin from school.”
“You couldn’t all him back later?” I said. It’s never too late to teach a few manners.
“Not really- we talk about once or twice a day when he gets stressed out. He has Asperger Syndrome and not too many people…get him. But since my roommate Chris and I both have brothers with disabilities-well- he’s just drawn to us.”
“Wow, Andy,” I said tearing up. “Does it ever seem like a burden?”
“Not at all,” he said, “It’s second nature. Kevin’s great. OK- shoes! Let’s see if they have these in my size,” he said picking up a pair of running shoes.
I have never been prouder of my son. When he was growing up, I worried so much about how Matthew’s autism would affect him. He’d had some bumpy years along the way-it hadn’t been easy. But he had grown into a compassionate young man who understands the importance of just being there-without saying “Aren’t I wonderful? Look at how I help people.”
It had just become second nature.
Laura
Laura Shumaker is the author of A REGULAR GUY: GROWING UP WITH AUTISM
and a contributor to A CUP OF COMFORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.
She writes each Friday for 5 MINUTES FOR SPECIAL NEEDS.