Ivy has been on a downhill slide for the last ten days.
Up down, up down.
Sick, okay, just hanging in there.
Each day has been an adventure.
After the PICC came out, her ears started discharging almost immediately
and the paed was getting all his eggs together, planning his next move.
We were trying to decide whether to orally medicate Ivy or put another PICC line in or go to the next level with a port a cath.
I bet there are some readers out there that know a thing or two about ports.
We were taking our time trying to weigh up what was the best thing for Ivy
but yesterday Ivy took things into her own hands and after a terrible day landed herself in the hospital.
So here we are, and why my post is late.
The heavy duty IV antibiotic are being pumped in and Ivy is alot better but it’s crunch time.
Over the next few days of admission David and I have to decide if a port – a – cath is the way we want to go.
The paed is pushing for a port or at least another PICC line.
We have the weekend to discuss it and decide.
I don’t really know what I am worried about.
The port itself, the risks versus the good parts
or the absolute finality of it.
The port, apparently the size of an American quarter, will allow the constant canulation of her little veins to be a thing of the past. Long term antibiotics won’t be such an issue and can be done largely at home (this is a very strange concept for Aussies).All her medications and her IVIG can be given through there and any bloods that need to be taken can be accessed from there as well. It is probably a very positive step for Ivy.
To me though, it’s like a slap in the face, that this immune deficiency thing is permanent. It’s not going away.
Ivy is going to have to deal with this for the rest of her life.
I guess I’ve considered this before and deep down I knew that I was not dealing with a transient thing but still.
It’s a big step for me as a Mum.
A big step in acceptance.
I’m feeling pretty lousy and teary about it all, really.
but the port, I think, will be the way we go on Monday when we need to decide.
I’m expecting alot from this little drum.
I’m hoping it will set us free.