I don’t enjoy feeling like a “good cause”

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Every year, a local branch of the Embassy Suites hotel chain throws a Halloween event for the kids in Max’s school. They go all out—they pick up the kids by shuttle van, decorate different rooms where costumed staffers hand out candy, offer a great buffet lunch and also have a room with pumpkins for the kids and tables where they can color.

I am always so floored by the kindness and generosity of the Embassy Suites people. Whenever I go to events like this for Max, I feel so grateful. But I also find them sobering. Because they make me realize that I am a parent with a child who benefits from the kindness of others. And I don’t like feeling like a “good cause.”

If I had to analyze my feelings, I’d say that I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I no longer feel sorry for myself for having a kid with special needs. I don’t feel sorry for Max, either. He’s adorable, he’s doing well and he’s so happy. I long ago stopped mourning the child Max could have been, and accept Max for who he is. But when I go to events for kids with special needs, I get acutely aware that I am One Of Those Parents with One Of Those Kids.

Do you know what I mean?

Ellen blogs daily at To The Max

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