Black and Blue

My daughter, Ashley, is blind (and deaf and has seizures and some other stuff too), and because of that, she has a tendency to bump into things. She often has bruises on her shins as a result. I understand those bruises. What I don’t understand are the bruises on her arms that look surprisingly like fingertips.

As I’ve probably mentioned here previously, Ashley is very strong willed. That has been a good thing for her because it has helped her development a great deal. But, combine that strong will with teenage rebellion, and you get a good dose of stubborn.


That stubbornness can be seen throughout her day – refusing to get on the school bus, refusing to get off the school bus, refusing to stand up and change classes, refusing to move quickly in the lunch line…Well, you probably get the picture.

My theory about the arm bruises is that the adults in the school system, whether they are teachers, bus drivers, or lunch ladies, decide to ‘help’ Ashley move along. And, because Ashley is a very strong stubborn teenager, it takes a great deal of force if one chooses to physically try to move her along.

I believe there are better ways because at home I just have to be stern and put on the ‘Mean Mommy Face’ – which she feels with her hands rather than sees. I don’t believe I am strong enough to physically try to make Ashley do something, and I don’t want to even try.

So how do I deal with the bruises that happen at school? Because Ashley has seven different classes that means seven different teachers. When I have broached this subject in the past, a lot of “not me” and “didn’t happen in my classroom” are heard.

Ashley will be 15 years old in two months, and it is time for people to stop putting their hands on her to get what they want. Any suggestions on how I can get that point across?

Deborah can be found writing here at 5MFSN every Wednesday, and can also be found at Pipecleaner Dreams.

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