The Internet makes the world seem small sometimes. As I visited blogs of 5MFSN commenters, I discovered a blog titled “Cornish Adoption Journey.” While exploring the blog, I discovered that the Cornish family lives in the same city as my former in-laws. I also spent a year living with my in-laws, and attended the same church as the Cornish family. We know some of the same people, and they have worked with some of my family. I was so excited to learn more about this special family, and I know you will be also!
Tell me a little about yourself and your family.
My name is Meredith and my husband, Mike, and I have been married for 7 years. We live in Central Florida and have four children. Emma is 5, Kristopher is 4, Brianna is 2 ½, and Micah is almost 2. Two of our kids were given to us by birth and two through adoption.
Emma, Brianna, and Micah all have Down syndrome and differing levels of heart defects and special needs. Mike is in ministry and I am now a stay at home mom- who doesn’t stay home much! And I subsidize our income occasionally with tutoring and teaching home school students.
Tell me more about your children’s disabilities. Did you know when they were born/adopted that they had disabilities? If not, how did you feel when you discovered it?
Brianna is our biological daughter and when she was born we had no idea there was anything wrong. It wasn’t until she was 2 months old that we did testing to find out why she wasn’t growing and did a chromosome analysis testing for a different syndrome- which came back with Down syndrome.
We were surprised by the diagnosis but were more concerned because she would need open heart surgery. We have a very good friend whom we’ve grown up with that has Down syndrome so it wasn’t an unknown or ‘scary’ diagnosis to us.
Brianna had her heart surgery at 5 months old and after that was over with we were able to relax a lot more and enjoy our baby girl.
We’ve learned a LOT about Down syndrome since then, but her diagnosis is ultimately what led us into international adoption of more children with Down syndrome. Brianna has a developmental delay which has mostly affected her in the areas of speech and gross motor skills. She uses sign and some vocalizations to communicate and gets around in her own little way- on her bottom. Just this past week Brianna took her first independent steps and we think she’ll be walking around her third birthday.
Emma and Micah we adopted in March of 2008 from Ukraine. Both had been living in an orphanage and had been left in their cribs all their lives. We knew they had Down syndrome when we went to get them but we weren’t aware of the degree of Emma’s heart defect until she was home with us. We were given an inoperable “terminal” diagnosis for Emma just after coming home- which we fought and had a wonderful cardiologist fight alongside us. She’s just a few weeks post-op now and is doing wonderful! She still has high pulmonary hypertension and that’s the most difficult part of her diagnosis for us.
Emma is also non-ambulatory, non-verbal, and bottle fed. At 21 pounds and 5 years old she’s very much like a baby right now. We’re learning a lot more about overcoming obstacles with her and pursuing through the diagnosis than we did with Brianna, or have had to so far with Micah.
Micah’s health issues we thought were much worse than they ended up being since his “major GI issues” turned out to be intolerance to milk. Otherwise he also has a minor heart defect which doesn’t affect its function and we just monitor it. He is developmentally delayed due to both Down syndrome and lack of stimulation (and being sick constantly), but he’s proven that he’s ready to make up for lost time and in 5 months has learned to hold his head up, sit, crawl, and pull to a stand.
You blog a lot about your children’s issues, and that is so valuable to me and I’m sure, to others that read your blog. How did you go about making the decision to blog about them? What do you personally get out of blogging about them and their issues?
I started blogging so we’d have a record of our adoption process and at the time I never thought anyone but my immediate family would ever read it. While we were in Ukraine and found out the extent of Emma’s needs we found that a lot of different people from the “special needs community” had tuned in to our blog and began providing invaluable information for us that we didn’t have the ability to access or research while overseas.
I continued blogging for several reasons. One is to record the lives and especially these first months for our new little ones since so much is changing each day. Another reason is because I personally find fulfillment in journaling, and to journal and share is even more fun .
The vastness of information available through other bloggers is amazing to me. When I have struggles or difficulties, medical issues, or even personal problems there are often people that have been there before and can share their experiences, their ideas, and their suggestions with me. And last, but certainly not least, I blog to bring awareness about Down syndrome, adoption, and the joy that these two together can bring!
How have your children’s disabilities affected you as a person and as a mother? What did you do right? What do you wish you had done differently?
My kids’ disabilities have affected me foremost in my level of Faith. They’ve given me the most reasons to step out of my comfort zone, to release control, and to look for where God’s leading rather than where *I’d* like to go. My kids have given me a necessity for a new level of organization as well in keeping bills, therapy notices, and doctor info ready and accessible.
As a mother I am definitely flawed, and I wish I could have never ending patience with each of my kids. Unfortunately that’s not always the case and there are times when walking away for a minute is the answer to the problem. I guess that’s probably my strength in parenting special needs kids at the same time as it’s my weakness… I know when to take a break. The days aren’t always easy and fun (but the majority are fun if not easy!) and I’ve found a balance between pushing through and stepping back. It’s a balancing act and I sometimes fail miserably.
What do you want other parents fighting the same fight to know?
There’s a joy that comes in knowing that this day of yours and your child’s life was a good one. If we begin each day with that outlook, and we strive to make each one a good one, then even those difficult days can turn out to be ok after all.
Is there anything else you would like to share?
Our family was built both by birth and adoption, and there are many kids around the world needing a family to take that chance for them.
Children with disabilities are often sent to mental institutions at the age of 4 or 5 in Eastern European nations today. They receive little or no medical care and no life-saving surgeries such as heart repairs or GI surgery.
If you have a heart for seeing these little ones come home, whether or not you can be that family yourself, please visit www.ReecesRainbow.com and see the many ways that you can be a part of helping a child come home to their forever family!
Prayer, spreading the word, fundraising, or donations are just a few of the ways that anyone can help the plight of these orphans and help them find a family. It really is life and death for these little ones.
Deborah can be found writing here at 5MFSN every Sunday and Wednesday, and can also be found at Pipecleaner Dreams.