Guilt about being away from a kid with special powers

News flash: I have decided to use the words “special powers” instead of “special needs” when I can. I mean, not for IEPs or the insurance company paperwork or anything, but in conversation and in posts. I explained why on my blog.

In other news, last weekend I went to the Type A Mom Conference. I learned a bunch of stuff about blogging, and got to hang out with a bunch of amazing moms. I’ve been to these conferences before, and I rarely experience guilt about being away from the kids. But then, I called home on the first day of the conference and Max said words clearly for the very first time. I was beyond ecstatic. I shrieked into the phone in the middle of the street.

As the three days I was there passed, though, guilt snuck its way into my psyche. Lots of moms there were missing their kids, but I was missing a child with cerebral palsy who was finally and miraculously beginning to say words—words doctors had told us we might never hear. Shouldn’t I have been there to coax and cheer him on? Worse, my husband was sending me pictures of all these fun activities they were doing (above: at the pumpkin farm). I’m sure other moms were probably dealing with guilt trips, too; they just be a little more intense, I suspect, when you have a kid with special powers.

Rationally, I knew I’d be back in a few days. But rationality has nothing to do with guilt.

These conferences inspire and rejuvenate me; I deserve to take this time for myself. So it’s driving me crazy that guilt got to me.

Damn you, guilt.

Ellen blogs daily at Love That Max.

5 Responses to Guilt about being away from a kid with special powers