It’s Harder For Him

After the house quiets, order is restored and slumbers begin, reflection occurs. As the day replays, I think of what I could do differently, what meltdown triggers I missed, how I can be a better mom. Many times I find myself hitting full on the frustration of our life. The constraints placed upon us…how “we” have to live by different rules than everyone else…different rules than we had anticipated. All-consuming these can be…the frustrations, the outlook that seems no more positive, no more promising than it did years and years ago.

I think it may be fair to say that many of us have felt this way from time to time. Some of us for a shorter time that others. Some of us have never shaken these feelings. We’re intelligent, insightful, thoughtful, educated and dedicated parents of special kiddos. A fact stated without question, for if we weren’t, none of us would be here, visiting each other on blogs, tweeting or finding some other way to connect, learn and teach each other for the sake of our children…and we, the devoted adults, get frustrated.

Those nights where it seems chaos reigns and the light is shielded from my sight leaving me to feel blind and alone in the struggle to help my son…it’s then when I calm my selfish thoughts, realizing that I didn’t do ‘all that bad’. I peek in on his sweet slumber, note his innocence, the beauty of his face, see all that he has shown me in such little time, and I marvel.

For as hard as it is for me, it’s harder for him.

(Photo By: United States Marine Corps / Flickr)

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