Did you ever see This is Spinal Tap? Classic movie with Christopher Guest, Harry Shearer and Michael McKean? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Well, if you hadn’t, I’ll fill you in. There is this classic scene in the movie when Christopher Guest’s character shows Rob Reiner (yes, that Rob Reiner) a special amplifier that their band created. You know, for when they need an extra push. The amplifier goes to ELEVEN instead of Ten. And if they need that extra push during a guitar solo, they just crank it up to eleven ( I swear this is going somewhere).
And that’s pretty much autism in a nutshell.
There are days when I’m a bit arrogant and a know-it-all and I’m all, “AUTISM? EXPERT!” and things run smoothly and calmly and we almost feel normal around here.
Normal. Whatever that is.
Then there are days like this weekend. Last week, with the loooooong holiday weekend (FIVE WHOLE DAYS OF NO SCHOOL! ACK!), Ian tried to hold it together as best he could. My older, high-functioning child NEEDED the break and was pleasant and cooperative. And Ian, he was MOSTLY cooperative. Except we’re just about potty trained. And he kept taking his pants off so as not to wet them in case he was too far from the bathroom (like, you know, two feet is just too far to walk) and peeing on the floor. And then sprinkling baking powder on it. Or a whole bottle of pepper. Or cheese curls on a freshly made bed. Or KY Jelly (it ain’t coming out of the carpet. Water soluble, my eye!) in the hallway. Or the blue non-toxic water in the toilet. Yeah, it was that kind of week.
See, here’s the thing about autism: When you’ve met one child with autism you’ve met ONE CHILD WITH AUTISM. It’s like snowflakes, no two are alike. Mine couldn’t be further apart in terms of functioning. You know, like onions. Onions have layers (name that movie for five points. Six if you can name the character who says it. Yes, I’m obsessed with movies, it’s my only link to the outside world).
And children with autism? Are very complex. They have many layers, many colors, many idiosyncrasies. Many things that make them quite unique. Yes, all children are complex. But autism? This one goes to eleven.
I know those wheels are always turning. I know he is in there SOMEWHERE, even though sometimes I’m more focused on keeping the routine instead of on him.This boy has SMAHTS. He is always plotting and planning. He is always listening and formulating plans in his head. I have to remember to PRESUME INTELLIGENCE, even if he has never been able to prove that he’s as intelligent as anyone else. It dawned on me that this is why they refuse to diagnose him with MR, even though he is non-verbal. Even though he’ll never pass (let alone complete) an IQ test. Even though he has the academics of a three-year-old. His brain is eight. Heck, his brain might be fifteen. He’s in there.
So, people of the world, don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t feel sorry for him. He doesn’t need your pity. He needs your respect. He needs to be treated like everyone else. He needs to have the same opportunities. He needs you to see him for who he is, not what he can do. I’m telling you, someday this kid is going to do something amazing. Phenomenal even. He’ll show everyone. Because he’s a perfect ten to me.
Goes to eleven in zero to sixty.
Except this one goes to ELEVEN.