A Different Kind of Stalker

I’ve always tried to live my life being respectful of others. I’ve tried to teach my children the same. For example, I often remind my children that it is not polite to stare at someone who is different. It’s a rule I’ve tried to follow my whole life, and yet, over the past several years it’s a rule I find harder and harder to comply with.

The other day my husband and I went out to do a little shopping. We were walking behind these women that were out to find a few bargains of their own. There were 4 women; 3 were about my age and one was clearly the teenage or young adult daughter of one of the women. It was the daughter that I could not take my eyes off of.

As they walked along she bounced happily swinging her purse. She didn’t say anything that I could hear, although I longed to hear her speak. I wanted to run in front of the group and walk backwards, drinking in all her facial expressions. Even though I never got a chance to see her face, I knew. So did my husband.

As we entered the store, the group of women went one way and my husband wanted to go the other. Reluctantly, I followed him. All I wanted to do was follow that young woman.

If that mother or daughter could feel my eyes boring into them, they didn’t show it. If they had turned around to see my unrelenting stare, I wonder what they would have thought. They had no way of knowing what was going through my head. Would the mom have been offended? Would she have been angry?

Had the mom noticed my stares and said something, I would have explained. I would have told her that seeing teenagers and adults such as her daughter is one of my greatest joys and I just can’t help myself. Seeing the interaction between her daughter and herself or other family members and friends is an inspiration to me. It is what I look forward to with my own daughter.

When my daughter was born and in those first few moments when I learned she had Down syndrome I wondered if this relationship I had just witnessed would even be possible. I knew nothing about Down syndrome, really. It wasn’t long before I knew that I would have that cherished mother/daughter relationship with my little Peanut, but seeing it with other families brings out the stalker in me and I simply cannot turn away. No matter how hard I try to be polite.

10 Responses to A Different Kind of Stalker