The two sides of J seem to be school J and home J.
In school, J has one-on-one attention…well, mostly, but that’s another story. He has a strict schedule he follows, every minute of the day essentially accounted for. Though there’s a definitive concern for his growth and successes in academic and daily living goals, it’s not home.
At home, time is less accounted for. One-on-one attention is a near impossibility with two younger siblings and all that comes with running a home, schedules, appointments. What’s outside the boundaries of acceptability at school edges its way into home life a little more. Behaviors that are absent from school, save for the few times he’s left the staff speechless, are discernible.
Though we take great lengths to give room for these ‘expressions and releases’, there are also times where we disappoint ourselves for not holding a firmer grip. Why can’t we have the same ‘controls’, the same consistently stellar J that is reported to us on most days?
The truth is, home is meant for comfort, for release, for the ability to loosen the constraints and just…relax a little. When J relaxes, the roars come out, stomping, mouthing (or attempting to). Language becomes lax and quite honestly, safety of others becomes a concern. But, he also gets to bond with his siblings, play wrestle, use his imagination. Maybe not in a way that’s considered appropriate for a second grader….
But, we aren’t at school. We’re at home. He needs a place to let loose, to be himself. Everyone needs that place, that space to become the jello of who they are, even if just for a moment, right? With our kids having so many more well-meaning people, including us, reminding them at every step what’s appropriate or not, how to do something, giving tons of rules and guidelines, they need just a moment to just…be.
What are your thoughts?
(Photo By: StevenDePolo / Flickr)