If I’m still grieving, how does she feel?

I had tried to promise myself that I wouldn’t write about my best friend Nena or her son Glenn again, BUT, I’m still having a hard time with it. And it really has to deal with grief. If you want to read the first post, it’s HERE. I have to ask myself, if I’m still grieving the loss of Glenn, how is Nena feeling.

Our stories aren’t overly similar. Well, I suppose in some ways, but again not really. That’s probably because Cerebral Palsy is such a blanket term. It’s not such a blanket that doctors say “hm. your kid is a medical mystery, it must be CP”. There are so many types and severities and no 2 children are the same, much like other special needs.

Glenn’s life was complicated from the start. Even though he wasn’t supposed to live longer than 24 hours, he proved everyone wrong by staying alive for 6 years. No matter if it’s unexpected or expected, it doesn’t take away the pain of losing a child.

For me? I’m in a pretty awkward place. I’ve been friends with Nena since we were 6. I know that no matter what, I can count on her and she says the same about me. I find it difficult to gauge her mood. Some days, she’s mad at the world, some days it’s ok to joke and others she’s just plain┬ádevastated. People often ask me how she’s doing. And I always reply with “how do you think she’s doing?” Since Glenn’s passing, I haven’t talked about my girls with her. Everytime we talk, I feel like there’s a giant elephant in the room that I can’t bring up. It’s not that I don’t want to talk about the girls, I just don’t want to make Nena sad since Glenn is no longer with us. Hopefully soon, she’ll ask about them. I’m just trying to give her space.

Upon returning from Newfoundland I told Nena: “I wish I could take away your pain, but I really hope to God that I never have to feel how you are now” She returned with “there are a lot of people I don’t like , and I would never wish this on anyone.” So 2 months later and I’m still grieving. And I can only imagine how Nena feels.

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