My husband jokes that it takes a military-grade logistics team to plan date nights or get together mid-day for lunch with a friend! That’s not far from the truth. One of the hardest parts of raising kids with special needs is the isolation. It’s just really, really hard to maintain close friendships when life is dictated by all the appointments our kids need to thrive in their unique situations.
We don’t have all the time in the world, but we can still be a good friend to the people close to our hearts. Here’s a list of ways we can do that, even from inside the mess of appointments that is our life:
- Be willing to call them first
- Send notes, cards or gifts
- Listen when they talk (without thinking about what you’ll say next)
- Remember and ask about what you last talked about together
- Ask them about their life
- Be genuine
- Be accessible
- Be honest
- Have a sense of humor
- Tell them how much they mean to you
- Celebrate their milestones and successes
- Honor their choices
- Give them space when they need it
- Be confident in your own strengths
- Offer to help them when they need it
- Be loyal
- Keep a confidence
- Support their important relationships with others
- Talk nicely about them to others
- Be silly and playful together
- Stick with them through tough times
- Encourage them to follow their dreams
- Pray for them
- Forgive them
- Tell them when you’re wrong
- Think of them when you’re apart
- Show grace when they’re having a bad day
- Comfort them when they grieve
- Remember to call when you say you will
- Be dependable
- Keep them in the loop in your life
- Trust them with your heart
- Give them a chance to make it up to you
- Travel or go on outings together
- Sit and do nothing in particular together
- Get excited about what their kids accomplish
- Be affectionate
- Offer them a piece of your chocolate
- Tell them when they have something in their teeth
- Love them with all your heart
It’s a tall order, and I’m sure you could add even more to the list! I screw up just about every one of these over the course of a month. But some of my friends consistently bat a thousand at this list! Some I see and talk to every week. Others live far away and their friendship resides more in my heart now. But I’m so grateful for the ways they each reveal the love of God in their love for me.
You’ve got them too – friends who get it. Who love you like that whole list. Have you told them recently how much they mean to you? Give them a call. Send an email. Let them know. Take that risk. The friendship is worth it!
Be blessed,
Laurie