Little things that make friendships work

My husband jokes that it takes a military-grade logistics team to plan date nights or get together mid-day for lunch with a friend! That’s not far from the truth. One of the hardest parts of raising kids with special needs is the isolation. It’s just really, really hard to maintain close friendships when life is dictated by all the appointments our kids need to thrive in their unique situations.

We don’t have all the time in the world, but we can still be a good friend to the people close to our hearts. Here’s a list of ways we can do that, even from inside the mess of appointments that is our life:

  1. Be willing to call them first
  2. Send notes, cards or gifts
  3. Listen when they talk (without thinking about what you’ll say next)
  4. Remember and ask about what you last talked about together
  5. Ask them about their life
  6. Be genuine
  7. Be accessible
  8. Be honest
  9. Have a sense of humor
  10. Tell them how much they mean to you
  11. Celebrate their milestones and successes
  12. Honor their choices
  13. Give them space when they need it
  14. Be confident in your own strengths
  15. Offer to help them when they need it
  16. Be loyal
  17. Keep a confidence
  18. Support their important relationships with others
  19. Talk nicely about them to others
  20. Be silly and playful together
  21. Stick with them through tough times
  22. Encourage them to follow their dreams
  23. Pray for them
  24. Forgive them
  25. Tell them when you’re wrong
  26. Think of them when you’re apart
  27. Show grace when they’re having a bad day
  28. Comfort them when they grieve
  29. Remember to call when you say you will
  30. Be dependable
  31. Keep them in the loop in your life
  32. Trust them with your heart
  33. Give them a chance to make it up to you
  34. Travel or go on outings together
  35. Sit and do nothing in particular together
  36. Get excited about what their kids accomplish
  37. Be affectionate
  38. Offer them a piece of your chocolate
  39. Tell them when they have something in their teeth
  40. Love them with all your heart

It’s a tall order, and I’m sure you could add even more to the list! I screw up just about every one of these over the course of a month. But some of my friends consistently bat a thousand at this list! Some I see and talk to every week. Others live far away and their friendship resides more in my heart now. But I’m so grateful for the ways they each reveal the love of God in their love for me.

You’ve got them too – friends who get it. Who love you like that whole list. Have you told them recently how much they mean to you? Give them a call. Send an email. Let them know. Take that risk. The friendship is worth it!

Be blessed,

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