I’m flying out this week for a blogger conference.
It’s my first one and that makes it exciting.
It’s also my first trip away from my children and THAT makes it even more exciting.
It’s my first time being away from Peyton for an longer than a day since she was diagnosed…and THAT? Is both petrifying and so freeing.
Knowing where we were two and half years ago, never being able to even think of the future because it was shrouded in a hazy fog, and coming to this point where I can now start to make plans and set goals and do the occassional ME thing. It’s enthralling. It’s part of the prayer that I didn’t know I was saying.
So very much of the past years have been about my kids: keeping Peyton healthy, worrying about the uncertainty, hurting for my older two children who were missing out on a normal childhood and getting lost in the cracks, bleeding every last ounce of myself to try to make a life for the kids, so they could someday look back and say “It didn’t suck THAT bad.”
But THIS? This is for ME.
And it feels so good to take what I need, as a mom and as a writer and as a woman who has been from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other, to take this time and dedicate it to my wants and desires is amazing.
I am anticipating a fun time meeting bloggers I’ve admired and the chance to learn from some of the most successul bloggers on the net…but mostly, I’m looking forward to taking a giant step into a life that includes my needs too.
Because WE all deserve those moments when it’s just about us. It isn’t selfish or whiny, it’s healing and rejuvinating. We willingly grind ourselves down to do for our children who need us so much, we need this time to build ourselves back up. I hope that each of you, whether it’s a weekend away or just finding a few hours of quiet to dedicate to yourself, makes the time to satisfy YOUR special needs.
(Boy, that came out a little dirtier than I meant for it to, but maybe that’s just me…not THOSE needs.)
You can also find me at Hope4Peyton, The Mayhew Review and Twitter, you should come by, it’s nice…we have cookies! Feel free to email me at Anissa.Mayhew (at) gmail (dot )com.