Whenever I write a ‘first blog’ as a new contributor, I tend to spend a whole lot of time just explaining who I am. As a guy riddled with chronic insecurity, I always want to somehow explain the baffling set of circumstances that put me in the position of writing for a particular blog. And, true to form, that’s what I did here for this blog. Well, it didn’t work out for me this time. I guess I’m a little bit tired of the “over 30 years of clinical work combined with the 3 years of riding a wheelchair” … kind of description.
So what to write.
Well, I’m going to tell you my little secrets. My own 5 Minutes for Me rituals that get me through the day. This all come from doing a consultation, all those years ago when I was a behaviour therapist that consulted to families in their homes. I arrived just as a mother was facing an enormous tantrum. She had not caved into her daughter’s demands and was suffering the very loud consequences. She let me in the door and then turned and we two looked at this child who was completely out of control (which was her way to get back in control – but that’s another story). I looked at mom who looked back at me and simply smiled. She said nothing.
Later when the air was let out of the tantrum and daughter was upstairs ‘thinking about it’. Mom looked at me and joked, “Those kids with Down Syndrome are all such a joy aren’t they?”
I congratulated her on her incredible calm during the storm. She said, “Oh, I figured it was time for my little break,” the seeing my confusion continued, “my body was here, I was paying attention, but in my mind I’d gone dancing.”
We talked and she said that she survived because she’d developed a ‘5 minutes for me’ set of rituals every day. “I need to find space in every day to still be me, not mom, not wife, not daughter – just me. I manage here because I manage me.”
Thereafter, as my career grew and the demands along with it, I began to understand her approach. Standing with a 52 year old man with an intellectual disability tantrumming in the mall … I was able to cope – because – Inside I’m Dancing … Well, I don’t dance but you get the drift.
My 5 Minute Strategies may, after all, be the best way to introduce myself.
Hi, I’m Dave and I take 5 minutes every day to …
Laugh
Have a conversation with someone about something silly.
Gawk at something beautiful.
Dave also writes at his personal blog: Chewing The Fat