I don’t have to tell anyone, I don’t think, about how HOT it’s been this week. As I said before I’m a facebooker too, and sometimes my saturday posts get away from me, sorry. Some days blend into the next, but I digress.
My father’s family has all kind of “drifted” apart (not saying that anybody is innocent on reasons why, it’s just drifted apart). I have tried several times to put out the bridge to those that are willing to talk to me. Because I was a teenager when the drifting happened. I’ve sent things to my grandparents telling them of my high school graduation, wedding, Christmas cards and things through out the years. Nothing ever came back, not even a card or letter in response. So I thought ok they don’t want to talk with me. Then when I had my son, my mom had run into my aunt in the hospital. There fore what was going on with my son was then told to the extended family…that’s when I got letters and cards. Interesting really because it’d be almost 20 years at that point.
So this winter when it was HORRIBLE out. I called my Great Aunt to ask if she was ok, if she needed anything from the store since it was SOOOO bad and she’s not a big driver (really i’d think at this point shouldn’t be driving but that’s just me). We’ve talked from time to time. But it always seems like it’s me calling. Anyway, she was fine and my cousin had run to the store for her. I called my grandmother and inquired about her. She was fine, my unlces were taking care of her.
The funny part is the conversations with them. My grandmother always asks how my son’s doing. “Is he holding something yet?” she’ll ask. ” No not yet, but he’s growing like a weed. He’s 49 1/2 inches tall” I reply. “oh my, do you have to carry him” she respond. “yes, I do have to carry him” I say. “Oh My!” that’s all that’s said.
Then there is my Great Aunt, I have to prep myself for these phone calls because you just never know. My Great Aunt will say “Is he any better? Is he talking yet? Is he walking yet? You know I believe in miracles & I do think if you go to church and pray really hard that your prayers could be answered and he could be a miracle…I do believe in miracles & that could be what happens; he could be NORMAL if you prayed about it. Then he could go to school, cause they have schools for kids like that, you know NORMAL kids” <OUCH! BLINDSIDED WITH THAT ONE> I tell her he’s not better but is working toward doing more. He does say some words like Mom, Dad, and newest is Nana (which is what he calls my mom). The important words. She tells me “if I work with him, he’ll do more, but again if I prayed for it, read the bible, went to church God would answer my prayers right now God thinks I don’t want to know him or that I don’t want to be bothered. and there is hope that my son could be normal“ Ok, again remember it take prep-work to make these phone calls. I have to remember this is old school talking so she doesn’t know the politically correct terms to use for today. She proceeds to tell me about how my uncle and cousins are so wealthy and that she wishes she was and they’re all really good kids (really they’re all adults now with families of their own). I’m not sure if that was a slap in the face or not. I said “Well money isn’t everything…there are SO many more important things” (ok so it’d help with things but really I’d take my family over money anytime <well most of them>). Then there is the conversation I have with my mom moments after hanging up with my Great Aunt. I tell her how she always amazes me that she can still ‘zing me’. And it still gets to me and I cry again. But again it’s me doing the calling all the time, why is that? Oh yeah, because she’s family. She’s older and she lives alone. But I think she’s well taken care of by neighbors and cousins. Maybe it’s time to cut that conncection, I don’t know.
So am I alone on this one? Maybe your lucky that it’s not your family that does this…maybe it’s a “friend” that you thought knew better…I don’t know. Anyone in your life do this? Do you seem to do the calling or making the connection? I do it, despite my busy life to try to make sure they’re not in need of something I could do for them…yet I sit here without anyone asking if I need help with anything? I do think that when we find our grove with whatever is going on in our life…we take on another project because that’s what we do…So while I’m taking care of our son, taking care of my mother, we’ve taken on a dog (perfect dog will tell that story next week) and the heat as bad as it is, I just wanted to make sure that family was doing alright and didn’t need anything from me. Are you just a natural born caregiver? I’m starting to see it as my calling