Is this what acceptance looks like?

Many of us ride the roller coaster of hope. Things are easier to manage when we have hope that everything’s going to turn out all right. When we’re going down the roller coaster, everything looks dismal and bleak.

I’m happy to say that I’ve gotten off of the roller coaster for the time being. Things are stabilizing somewhat and I don’t feel like every setback is the end of the world, nor do I get overly excited when progress is made, as I see it as a inevitable, albeit slow process. I wonder if I’d made progress on my journey towards acceptance?

For May and June of this year, Precious seemed to be making little progress in her learning at school, but she was getting better at keeping herself amused. She would play longer on her own with Barbies or pretend to be the waitress at the restaurant and take my order on a little notepad, writing ‘t’ and ‘o’ over and over again on the paper.

When she was with the babysitter for two weeks at the beginning of the summer, she seemed to make good progress again, and since she’s been at daycare for the month of August, her writing seems to have improved.

So maybe summertime is more relaxed than the winter? Or maybe I’m getting to a place of acceptance, but I feel like things are a bit easier to manage these days. We got Precious into the primary special needs class at the closest school that offers it. Transportation is set up. She will go to the daycare with her brother and sister. Her special needs worker can accommodate her new school hours and will increase to 2.5 hours weekly from 2, starting the second week of school, and we can pay with it with our Special Services At Home funding. So things are good.

Writing about my journey with my daughter with special needs has been good for me. I’ve been posting here almost weekly since last November, and my friends tell me that they are seeing a whole different side of me. I love to read your comments, and it helps me to feel that I am not alone, and sometimes get advice from you.

Once school starts, I’m sure I’ll have lots of news to share, but for today, I’m a bit introspective, and this post is more about me than it is about my daughter.

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