My sister’s due date is next week. My good friend Lyla is having a baby next month. I am so, so excited for both of them.
I am also a little melancholy.
Anytime anyone close to me is having their first kid, I can’t help but flash back to my pregnancy with Max. When I never for one second worried that anything could go wrong, when I was filled only with hopes and dreams and excitement for my firstborn child.
Max had seizures on the second day of his life, they discovered he had a stroke, and for months after that I was filled only with grief and stress and worry and sadness.
So, I get melancholy when women I know are due to have their babies. And I also get a severe case of should-we-have-a-third child? It’s something my husband and I have been batting around for a couple of years now.
We love children; I was lucky not to have any issues getting pregnant, and I actually liked being pregnant. I also adore babies (that’s yummy Max above). Financially, we could swing it. And, this is critical, we think it would be great for Max to have another brother or sister.
But then, I’m just not sure how we’d manage, given all of Max’s needs.
But then, I don’t want to grow old and ever regret for one second that I didn’t have a third child.
But then, I’m concerned that I’d have less attention for Max, and he needs as much attention and help as he can get.
I could go on and on and on, lobbing the pros and cons back and forth and back and forth.
Have any of you considered having another child especially because you have a child with special needs?