When Matthew was home last weekend, we had three very normal conversations! They were:
1) Me: “Did your friend Joe move away?” Matthew: “That’s what I heard.”
2) Me: “Have you seen any good movies lately” Matthew: “No, but I’d like to. What movies have you seen?”
3) Me: (driving Matthew to a gardening job, pulling out of the driveway and reaching for my sunglasses) Matthew: “Wait! I forgot my safety glasses. Seeing your glasses reminded me.”
Just four months ago, the conversations would have gone like this.
1) Me: “Did your friend Joe move away?” Matthew: “I give up.”
2) Me: “Have you seen any good movies lately?” Matthew. “No. I’m tired of all these questions.”
3) I would have dropped Matthew off without his glasses, and then he would have called me, demanding that I find the glasses and bring them to him right now!
Matthew at 23
Not only is Matthew interacting in a more expansive way, but he is calm, content, and easy to reason with. To what do I attribute this leap in development? I attribute it to Camphill, the caring community where Matthew lives, to the day program that I wasn’t so sure about at first, to his psychologist, Dr. Fair, who is working on, among other things, Matthew’s social skills, and to his psychiatrist, Glenn Saltz, who figured out the very best medication formula.
So we are going through a good stage. It is so good, in fact, that I can hardly remember how we were suffering last year at this time.(rages, transitioning Matthew to a new program, police visits….) And who was that who found and put all of those supports in place between then and now? Oh, yeah, that was me!
There will be some more bumps ahead-and I’ll be ready. But right now I feel hopeful, rejuvenated, and so, so lucky.
Laura
Laura Shumaker is the author of A REGULAR GUY: GROWING UP WITH AUTISM
and a contributor to A CUP OF COMFORT FOR PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH SPECIAL NEEDS.