I’ve always wondered where the phrase, “The good, the bad, and the ugly” came from. It always seemed negatively skewed to me. I mean, why can’t it be, “The great, the good, and the bad?” Or even, “The great, the good, the bad, and the ugly.” Those seem more optimistically balanced.
Then, my son turned 13.
And I realized, the person who came up with “The good, the bad, and the ugly” most certainly has a teenager.
The Good: He went a whole week without a detention.
The Bad: He got one the following week.
The Ugly: He got two on MONDAY the week after.
Or,
The Good: We had an honest, open talk about puberty.
The Bad: He now thinks he is an expert and has shared his “knowledge” and diagrams with his younger brother.
The Ugly: He stole my Victoria’s Secret catalogue and smuggled it to his bedroom inside of his band book.
And,
The Good: Instead of gifts for his birthday, he asked his friends for hats, gloves, and slippers to donate to a women’s shelter.
The Bad: He eats a half-a-box of cereal, two pieces of fruit, and a liter of milk for breakfast every morning.
The Ugly: With his father, he used the phrase, “It’s just what kids do these days” as an excuse for his behavior.
Finally,
The Good: He only has four years and 347 days until he turns 18.
The Bad: He only has four years and 347 days until he turns 18.
The Ugly: He only has four years and 347 days until he turns 18.
With the help of his psychiatrist and counselors, we are working hard to help him understand that as he goes through this life change, he may find it more difficult to control certain impulses. He may find it upsetting to understand the trauma he has endured through his new more-adult experiences. He may want to ask his own questions about medication, therapy, family background, etc…
We’re trying to help him understand that growing up is as awesome as it is confusing. That having responsibility is as rewarding as it is scary. That understanding his feelings about who he is and who he wants to be is as important as it is overwhelming. That with all the good, the bad, and the ugly, in the end, he can learn something from each experience.