When we were in the NICU with Max, following the stroke he had at birth, there was a Debbie Downer doctor we had to deal with. One day, I got into a bit of a personal conversation with her. “I feel like this is going to change my whole personality,” I said.
“It will,” she responded, somberly.
Thanks, doc.
In reality, I haven’t changed much. My positive personality traits have come in handy and the more, er, challenging ones have sometimes made things harder. I’ve always been an optimistic type of person, and that’s kept me going and helped me rebound when I do get down. I’m also a I’m-going-to-make-it-happen type, which has been a really good thing for getting Max the help and services he needs (woe to the secretary who tells me she can’t get Max in to see the doctor for the next six months). Oh, and I’m a worrier, too; as you can imagine, my anxiety has definitely flared up a lot more over the last seven years.
Sometimes, I look at photos of myself before I had kids and wonder what happened to that carefree girl. I feel a little more serious and less fun-loving these days, but I suspect I might feel that way no matter what kind of kid I had.
How has having a kid with special needs changed you?
Ellen blogs daily at Love That Max