Does your child filter your friends?
I was thinking about this when considering who to invite to my birthday celebration in a couple of weeks. It’s not going to be a huge party – our house is not that big for one thing – but I don’t have a single close friend who doesn’t get on fantastically well with Meg.
All of them, without exception, talk to her, let her talk to them, smile, tease and make her feel important.
Unlike some parents I’ve spoken to, I’ve never had any people I know visibly baulk or show hostility or alarm, or say something truly offensive about Meg and her Down’s Syndrome to me. Sure I’ve had the occasional nazi rant in the comments on my blog (anonymously, of course), but the delete button is a wonderful thing.
Have I just been lucky that the people I choose as friends happen to be people who respond well to my daughter? Is it that my daughter can’t help but make people smile? Or have I consciously or unconsciously just not allowed people who were anything less than relaxed with her to become as close?
Perhaps if I’m honest with myself I do use Meg as a testing ground for relationships.
Last night, for example, an old school friend who I’ve not seen for 27 years called by. We’ve been in contact via the Internet for a year or two and he was up in the area so phoned to see if I’d like to meet up.
When he arrived at the house he had flowers for my wife and bags of sweets for my kids. When he chatted to Meg about which bag she’d like, he treated her as he would treat any child, listening patiently, smiling and gently teasing.
He can come again any time 🙂
Kim is usually to be found at his own blog, Ramblings of the Bearded One. Although you will find tales about his daughter, Meg, under his “Down’s Syndrome” category, you’ll find far more simply under “Fatherhood“