Question: How do you respond when a parent is mean to your kid?
Here’s the scenario: we went to a birthday party for a family friend, who also happens to be Zoe’s piano teacher. Many of this teacher’s students were there, as were their families. Zoe usually has a tough time in loud social settings (don’t many of us?); she tends to shut down and tries to find a quiet place to stim. Since we weren’t in our own home that wasn’t a possibility; but Zoe did remarkably well despite the loud noises and crowds. In fact, she even played with some of the other children.
Fast forward to about an hour into the party. Zoe is playing with two girls she knows from the music school. I excused myself to use the restroom, and a friend of mine agreed to keep an eye on Zoe. The story I’ve been told is that the mother of the other two girls took issue with Zoe, who got into the girls’ personal space (keep in mind that at no time did Zoe put her hands on the other girls). She pulled Zoe away from her daughters and made a comment along the lines of, “What’s wrong with this kid? Is she retarded or something?” It was loud enough that Zoe heard it, as did my friend and the other parents and kids in the room. When I got back the room was oddly quiet—I guess people thought I had heard what was said and expected me to get into defensive mode. Since we were leaving the party, I grabbed the kids and left; I didn’t even hear about this episode until the ride home, when my daughter asked me what ‘retarded’ means, and if that is what her special need is. My friend, who was at the party, called me and let me know that she chastised the woman for her insensitive remark; apparently, the woman was unconcerned. She apparently didn’t see anything wrong with 1) putting her hands on my child, 2) throwing the ‘r’ word around, and 3) teaching her children and the other kids around that it’s okay to use that word.
Now I see this woman at the school, and I feel like I should talk to her about this, but I’m concerned that my anger and hurt feelings will get the better of me. So I’m asking you parents . . . how would you handle this situation?