I’m So Tired

I spent all week thinking about this post.

And I have nothing. I’m too tired to think. This time of year I’m just spent. Physically and emotionally done.

Thanksgiving. Hanukkah. Christmas. All take emotional tolls on me because I’m not just planning a fun holiday celebration, but also organizing how we’ll get through the celebrations. Plans for meltdowns at family dinners. Plans for getting through the sensory overload of the season. Plans for routine changes that could throw us off for weeks. In order for the rest of my family to have a happy holiday time, I geared up weeks ago to get everything in order.

So far we’ve made it through with flying colors. Our Thanksgiving was one of the best yet. Hanukkah ends tonight and has gone off without a hitch (except that I’m short 4 candles for the last night tonight, but I’m hoping Target has a box left on sale). I’m already in planning mode for getting through Christmas vacation and tree decorating with my in-laws. With any luck, we’ll get survive that just as well.

But it has left me exhausted. I’ve put so much into getting ready for this holiday season that I don’t have much energy left to celebrate it myself.

I also know what is waiting around the corner of the New Year. Our annual IEP meeting. Finding out if our son is ready for kindergarten. Waiting to see what services he’ll get there. The whole thing has me tangled up in knots. And again, very tired.

So I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t have much here for this post today. I tried to be inspiring. Hopeful. Thoughtful.

But today, I really just need to sit down without my thoughts and take a little break.

You’d say I’m putting you on
But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm
You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
for a little peace of mind” –
I’m So Tired by The Beatles

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