Like Santa, I know my children! I see them when they’re sleeping. I know when they’re awake. I know when they’ve been bad or good and I teach them to be good for goodness sake! So why… WHY, when a nasty, mean-spirited coward rolls down her car window as we exit the store where my children behaved well — not perfectly, but pretty darn well — do I listen to her crazy ranting about my children when I know it’s just plain old NOT TRUE?
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Walking into Trader Joe’s we’d been complimented for returning 2 carts to the cart corral from the parking lot where others too lazy to do the right thing had left them. I put The Boys into our cart for the sake of speed while my 5-year-old twin boys — who happen also to have Down syndrome — chatted amicably with me. They did not grab stuff off the shelves. They were not in anyone’s way. My 9-years-wise Old Soul helpfully retrieved items and put them in the bottom of the cart. We quickly maneuvered through the small store. I knew what I wanted and where to find it so our entire shopping spree lasted all of 12 minutes, if that! With an additional 10-minute wait at the registers, admittedly, The Boys got a little bit antsy. From within the confines of our small shopping cart, they leaned on each other (a 5-year-old’s attempt to gain more space without actually pushing his brother). When the Old Soul ran off for a forgotten item, my Big Little Man pretended to call out to her in Scooby Doo fashion, “Ah-laaaaa (his nickname for her), where are you?” They complained a little and teased a little… ALWAYS using appropriate indoor voices!
I’m being honest here… they were NOT loud! They were not RUDE! They did not MISBEHAVE! But, God help them, they WERE being kids! Still, hyper-aware of others’ reactions, I noted that no one around us seemed the least bit disturbed. When it was our turn at the register my children helped put the items on the counter and into bags. We paid and walked out into the sunshine, returning our cart to the cart corral — which is more than most do. With a bag in each hand, The Boys obediently grabbed hold of my pinkies while the Old Soul held a free hand to walk back to the car. Even I was impressed with their cooperation! Suddenly a car pulled to an abrupt stop in front of me — dangerously close to my children. The driver rolled down her passenger window and yelled, “YOUR CHILDREN ARE THE WORST BEHAVED CHILDREN I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!”
I could not believe my ears so I asked incredulously, “WHAT?” and she yelled again, her voice choked with anger, “THOSE ARE THE WORST BEHAVED KIDS I’VE EVER SEEN!”
I’m not proud of my reaction! I used an expletive I rarely use and one I reserve for extreme situations (oh wait, this WAS extreme)! But for this woman, it probably reinforced what she believed about us… Me and my children were not fit for public appearance. Before I could approach and engage she rolled up her window and sped away. Two women came to my side, saying they’d seen her before, this nasty lady, and I should not give her words another thought. My Old Soul, with tears in her eyes, looked up at me and said, “Why would she say that? Even if she thought it, she didn’t have to say it out loud! That was just mean!”
From the mouths of babes!
I admit, I cried! I gave power to her words. It’s taken me weeks to overcome the pain I felt at her attack. You see, I work so hard to teach my children to behave. And they work so hard to oblige. Yes, there have been times when they did not behave well… but those occasions are the exception for us and when that happens, I immediately remove them from the situation! Most folks are impressed at how well-behaved my children — read: The Boys — are…
You see, My Boys have special needs! So, (like women in the workforce… still) they are held to a higher standard! If we expect to be half as accepted, they have to perform twice as well. Because the folks who think children like mine should be locked up or hidden away are waiting for us to mis-step to prove their point.
In hindsight, I wish I had reminded that nasty woman that society’s who do not accept children with special needs also do not accept “crazy” people who yell indiscreetly at others. In such societies, both populations are locked away… or worse! I wish I had told her that I’d rather spend eternity with my beautiful children than one second in her miserable presence. Even more so, I wish she’d taken a moment to meet My Boys so she could gain entry into our secret society of abundant love and admiration! But, she did NOT give us that chance.
It’s a New Year and I resolve to never give people like her or words like hers the power to hurt us… ever again! That’s my resolution for 2011! What’s yours?