Full Plate

I am tired. There’s no way around it. I’m running on fumes, and staring down another day where I need a full tank. What to do?

Short term: suck it up, push on, just do it.

Long term: not sure.

Seriously. Every week I make a list of what (ideally) needs to happen. I plan which activity will fill which day, recognizing that some tasks are fixed (get the child to gymnastics) and some are ongoing (fold the laundry…again). Regardless the list is always long, and there’s no problem filling up the days. In reality most days there are two or three important tasks that don’t get done, or at least get put off. Sleep has been trimmed below minimum levels, and even when I’m “resting” I’m busy doing something (usually writing related) unless I am actually asleep. If I catch up on one area I usually fall behind on another. None of this is exceptional, probably, to anyone who is reading this. I’ve been on this treadmill for about three years, and there’s no sign that the pace will let up anytime soon. I figure one of two things is going to happen: my capacity to “do it all” will increase orĀ  I’ll figure out which tasks need to be handed over to someone else, somehow, even though at the moment there doesn’t seem to by anyone to hand them to.

The problem is there is absolutely no margin to fall back on. I’ve learned how critical it is to have some leeway, some reserves, so I don’t just feel tired, I feel vulnerable. If it were just myself at risk it wouldn’t even seem quite so scary, but my daughter could potentially pay the price as well.

So here I am asking for input. What do you do when you find your plate too full? How do you trim your to do list? How do you keep going when there’s more to do than there is of you?

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