Send ’em? Keep ’em home? Send ’em? Keep ’em home? You recite the words over and over again as you pluck the petals from the cut flowers sitting in the vase? (LOL, there’s a luxury I don’t enjoy often!) Eeny, Meany, Miney Moe? Paper, Scissors, Rock? Or with the flip of a coin? How do you decide to send your child with special needs to school each day?
There’s that glassy look in his eye? Or, he slept like cr _ _! (Like the hangman game… You fill in the blanks. Might be he slept like crap or crud, but he definitely didn’t sleep like crazy. Too many letters and there’s no explanation for Y he didn’t sleep well.) But he rolled and flipped and moaned and groaned all night long. Then, by the light of the day, he seems sort of OK. Not quite right. Nothing in particular wrong. So…. DO YOU SEND HIM TO SCHOOL?
I’m a “when in doubt, hold ’em out” Mom. But these neither sick nor well days just stump me. Most days, I follow my gut and keep ’em home. After all, this is Kindergarten. And this is flu season! And there’s every virus and its cousin spreading like wildfire through the school! So I keep ’em home. But after waaaaaaay too many totally legit sick days — as a function of those aforementioned stomach and intestinal viruses — this year I’m having a hard time making this decision… it feels like every day.
Some days it’d be easier for me, personally, to keep them home. Some days it’d be better for me, work-wise, to send them in. I NEVER consider these points in my decision-making! Convenience (mine) NEVER comes into play. No kidding. Education is paramount in our home as it was in my childhood home! So, I’m torn over wanting them to be in school to learn and interact and get therapy and read books, and play with friends…. versus keeping them home because there’s something just a tad off and I’m terrified they’ll catch something worse while they’re a bit down and send us spiraling back down that slippery slope that landed both Boys in the hospital for 2 weeks with pneumonia a few months ago.
Some days I call the school nurse to discuss and she advises me…. often on a personal level, “If they were my kids, I’d keep them home. Too much stuff going around and their immune systems are already compromised. Take another day and give them a chance to rest.” When I get that answer, I’m sooo relieved. But most days, it’s all my call. I have to consider their current general health, their medical challenges (luckily, there are few… but there are a few!), important upcoming events… NO, not vacations but maybe surgeries or special doctor appointments we’ve been waiting for, for instance. These all play into the decision.
Today was one of those days. My Big Man’s taking a long time to recover from his last bout with an intestinal virus that stripped his 8-week-premature-birth-compromised, dairy-sensitive intestines. It’s happened before and he’s recovered fully… after 6-8 weeks! It’s also happened before and he ended up in the hospital. My Little Man’s taking a long time recovering from a cold-induced, bleeding sinus infection. A common occurrence with compressed sinus cavities due to their Down syndrome. As a result, he’s also suffering from intestinal distress from the antibiotics. They stayed home on Friday… and played all day! They went sledding on Sunday… but hit a rough patch late in the afternoon. So, do I send ’em this morning?
I did!
Within an hour of their arrival the nurse called to say my Big Man has “vomited”. Even this is a relative term in my world. A kid eating too many pretzels and drinking too much apple juice too soon after a big chocolate chip pancake breakfast could make him spit up a bit. But those teachers always freak out. I wonder if they struggle with their decision to send ’em home as much as I struggle with my decision to send ’em in. I picked him up and let My Little Man fly solo at school. The Big Guy was fine at home. Played all day, watched movies, missed his brother and sister, then hurried me along to the school at pick-up time. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent him in the first place. Maybe he could have stayed at school all day. Who knows? I sure don’t.
Gotta make the same decision tomorrow! Should I bother weighing the facts or just toss the coin? How do you decide on those borderline days?
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