The House That Hope Built

We are in the middle of one of the greatest strains a marriage can undergo.

Oh yeah, it’s bad.

We made it through my stroke…we survived Peyton’s cancer with our love intact.

We are househunting…there’s a good chance one of us won’t come out alive.

I’m better armed but he’s sneakier.

No, I suppose I exaggerate a bit, but it is exactly as bad as I said an extremely stressful and anxiety-ridden process.

I know a part of it is that a house is just an important element to any move, but a growing part of me sees it as more than that.

This is a new house, a fresh home, a clean slate.

A place that cancer hasn’t touched.

The memories of sickness won’t follow me from room to room.

I live in a deep enough state of denial to hope that this shiny new house will represent our break from the cancer that has tromped over every single facet of our lives.

A do-over for my family, if you will.

I want it to be perfect.

I live in enough reality to know that it won’t last…we can’t move away from our memories and fears, no amount of closet space is big enough to hide the pain we’ve suffered.

I also know that it’s an all too real possibility that we haven’t seen the last of cancer yet.

But for now? I hold onto that twinkling hope that being out of treatment allows, and I will pour all that vibrant hope for a cancer free life into our future.

It starts with a house.

You can also find me at Hope4Peyton, The Mayhew Review and Twitter, you should come by, it’s nice…we have cookies! Feel free to email me at Anissa.Mayhew (at) gmail (dot )com.

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