Something I haven’t talked much about while posting here is my own somewhat recent diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in October of 2010. Obviously, my body did not get the memo that I definitely do not have time for this.
I have some pretty awesome and supportive friends (and family) in my life who don’t mind listening to me complain like an 80 year old woman with arthritis. I’ll be celebrating my 1st anniversary of my 29th birthday next month. If this is how 30 (apparently the new 20’s) feels, I would like to bi-pass that one, please. (in fact? My 2nd flare occurred on the first day of Blissdom Canada 2010. Not only that? A wonderful “internet friend” who has now become an in real life friend helped me out… Nothing like getting to know someone by helping them into a bathing suit)
I really began thinking… What happens when I flare and I still have 2 kids to take care of? Lauren’s pretty good and self sufficient, I mean, she can walk downstairs and help me a little (although I feel oh so guilty for asking her to help) and Jillian? well, she just learned how to come downstairs on her own and is definitely not as self sufficient. You know what’s even worse? When I have to put my game face on and take Jillian to therapy appointments. I stood outside of our van the other day frowning because I had to lift Jillian’s 50 lb wheelchair out of the trunk. Mostly, I just suck it up and let tears roll down my face while I do what needs to be done.
Not only am I FINALLY ok with Jillian’s diagnosis that I can talk about it (happily), and listen to others new to this special needs world (I love it, really!) But I feel my OWN diagnosis is killing me mentally. I worry that there will be a day that will be as bad as the first flare. At first, I thought I had a fabulous rheumatologist and now, I’m learning he’s really difficult to work with and that I’m ok fighting for EVERYTHING for Jillian, but when it comes to myself, I back down. I let medical professionals walk all over me. Why is that?!
What about you all? What happens when you get sick? I really wish there was a “phone a friend” option or at least a little clause on their birth certificates with sick days. 😉