The need to seem “normal”

Hi, everyone. So, the wonderful pediatric neurologist I mentioned in my post from last week on doctors who have given you hope did e-mail me back. He was very happy to hear that Max was doing so well. I was really glad I’d gotten in touch—he deserved to know.

This picture is from Friday, a world-famous African band named Liyana visited Max’s school. In preparation, the students made and played African drums, tambourines and a marimba. When you look at this photo, I’m guessing you see a cute little boy playing the drums. What I see: 1) his cuteness and 2) that blue bib around his neck. Max still drools, due to oral-motor issues. It’s perhaps the one thing that instantly “gives away” the fact that he’s a special-needs kid, and makes other kids stare at him. Our neurologist has said Max can go on medication to stop it, but I’d rather not have more meds in his life (he’s already on anti-seizure medication).

The drool bothers me. But, it bothers me more that I even care; why do I feel this need to “hide” the fact that Max has special needs? He’s six already—shouldn’t I be past that by now? Do any of you ever have similar thoughts about your own children?

This is something that’s bugged me for a long, long time, so I’m eager to hear other parents’ takes.

Ellen writes for 5MFSN every Monday. She also has her own blog, To The Max.

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