Happy Mother’s Day

When I became a mother in 2002, I truly felt transformed. The birth of my son was an empowering experience; primal and intense and painful, but giving birth to him and becoming a mother for the first was truly the most incredible moment in my life. Having my second child in 2003, at home, and having my first daughter was incredibly special. When Precious was born in 2005, it was a completely different experience. It was in the high risk unit of the hospital, after a couple of hospitalizations during my pregnancy, tons of interventions, and I was induced in the operating room. I had my first epidural, which was a relief, and my daughter was born with low apgar’s, she was all bruised and swollen and I wasn’t allowed to hold her very much. During her first 4 1/2 weeks of life, most of it in the NICU, we could hardly hold her for a 10 day period because her jaundice was so bad, they couldn’t afford to take her out from under the lights, and they had a light blanket under her body, too. I couldn’t breastfeed her directly and went into a hospital room to pump milk they would feed her through a tube. I worried so much about not bonding properly with my daughter as I had with my other children.

Many of you know the stress of having your child hospitalized at birth or not being able to hold them or have them come home for a long time. I wonder about how it changes our relationships with these children. I find myself babying my youngest, but I’m told that many people do that with their ‘baby’. My daughter is developmentally younger than her age, so I treat her like a three year-old even though she’s five. I think she’s clingier at this (developmental) age than my other kids were.

I think I’m realizing that each child gets raised differently, and has a different relationship with their parents based on their personality and needs. I also realize that I don’t resent the difficult start my daughter had, although I would erase it all if I could, but I do cherish the close relationship we have now. It’s challenging at times to be so needed by someone, but being a mother is all about being there for our kids, no matter what.

How was your mother’s day? DH made me breakfast in bed and Precious and Mr. Boy ate with me. Precious used the top sheet as a napkin for her peanut butter face, so I’m currently washing that, and will be bringing the vacuum up later to vacuum the crumbs out of the bed. I got three lovely handmade gifts and they are original and special. I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day.


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