Call ME!

Yesterday, both of my kids (lucky me) had their yearly Well-Child checkups.

2 kids, 7 shots, buckets of tears…

So, while I was sitting there praying for the floor to open up and suck me in (rather than lose my cool on the 11-year old who was crying sobbing inconsolable for absolutely no valid reason…BEFORE the shot even happened)… I decided that I would be famous for something major.

Major, people.

I have come up with the best idea ever.

(shhhh. Don’t tell anyone, unless you know some millionaire doctor who wants to fund my project.)

I want to make pediatrician’s offices more–well, less sick.

Imagine this: you enter through automatic glass doors (you know, instead of the push/pull ones that kids slobber on, wipe their snotty noses over, and lick). As you enter, the receptionist takes your name and directs you to a room. No, no waiting room (Come on? How many offices have you ever been to that have actually filled up ALL their rooms?).

The patient rooms have automatic glass doors as well. The examination tables are hard plastic—rather than the cheap ones with the paper on the top (that you know no one cleans ever). The sign on the wall states that each table is disinfected between uses. The sinks have ample amounts of soap and paper towels.

The restrooms resemble those at a mall. There’s more than one. They are clean, have toilet paper, and they have the automatic flushers!

While you are waiting to see the doctor, the nurse may collect your copay and triage your little patient.

Isn’t it genius?

— then reality smacked me in the face. Both my kids were screaming, and I wanted to cry too. I bribed them with anything I could think of (Mother of the Year!). Stickers for Everyone!!!

What would you do to make the pediatrician’s office less sickly?

Hey–Daddy Warbucks? Call me when you want to patent my idea!

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