When I was young and naive, I had visions of how my life and home would look when I get married. I would have a wonderful husband, four beautiful children and a home that’s both lovely and inviting. This wonderful and handsome man I married would earn more than enough, not only to provide for our needs, but to enable me to stay home and nurture our near genius kids. Our kids would be so smart and beautiful that they’re beyond amazing. Our home would be tastefully decorated, always clean, and the tantalizing smell of freshly baked goodies and foods cooked from fresh ingredients would always welcome anyone who walks in the door.
Yeah right.
Now that I’m older and wiser (ahem), I know the visions were near delusional. There is no way that would have happened. No matter how the media and our culture would like us to believe it, perfection does not happen. At least, not in this lifetime. Reality is, life is messy and unpredictable. It is full of surprises at times, tedious and boring at others. It often does not meet whatever preconceived notions most of us have about it.
Never in my wildest dreams could I have seen that I would be single parenting a special needs child. This is not something one dreams about or plans for. I certainly did not but I am here. This is my reality. As I deal with this daily, I am learning to let go and say goodbye to my childhood naivete and unrealistic expectations. I am learning to adjust my rose colored glasses and replace them with binoculars so I can see farther and magnifying glasses so I can see clearer. I am learning and adapting and changing to fit and thrive in my new life.
As these happen, I let go of the visions. I find this particularly useful during the holidays where there is so much pressure to be “picture perfect”. I am reminding myself not to give in to the pressure, thus, I say goodbye to Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart and Norman Rockwell. I’m sure they belong somewhere but not in my world.